


A Golden Pocket Watch

by SaintVier



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Aquaphobia, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Family Drama, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Wizardphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8871352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintVier/pseuds/SaintVier
Summary: Harry Potter crossover– Philip and Lukas go to Hogwarts.





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you enjoy this story! Lukas is a muggle-born, Philip went Ilvermorny, and they are both transferring to Hogwarts.

“All right, Mr. Waldenbeck, it looks like you're all set to depart tomorrow at noon at the Staten Island ferry docks, gate negative-two. Last step is for you to sign here, please,” the woman gestured towards the document in green ink lying on the cheap hotel table between her and her client. Lukas, however, didn’t seem to process her words and instead gaped open-mouthed at the large, magenta quill pompously hovering in the air beside the woman’s curly mane of hair.

“Oh, don't mind the quill, it won't bite. Sometimes it just needs a firm touch,” the woman said cheerfully. The quill shimmied indignantly in the air. “Go on, dearie.”

Lukas shut his mouth, blinked, and hesitantly grasped the quill, which gave a final spasm in his hand but then mercifully remained still. He stared blearily at the bright green words one last time: _I, Lukas Waldenbeck, consent to relinquish all ties to my prior guardians and be relocated to London’s Home for Misplaced Muggle-Borns, under the care of Ms. Hortentia Dommus._ Lukas hesitated for a moment, mechanically rubbing his thumb over the gold watch in his hand under the table. But then he looked at the smiling woman and the wand lying on the table by her clasped hands. Lukas took a shaky breath and signed his name.

“And that's the last of it!” The woman scooped up the various scattered papers and made her way to her feet. Then, with a slightly gentler tone, she said, “And of course, if you have any concerns at all, or simply need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me. This is a tremendous change in your life and I know it isn't easy, so send me an owl whenever you need to.” Lukas valiantly attempted to smile and nod, but ended up awkwardly grimacing and staring down at his hands. The witch then patted his back with such motherly kindness that Lukas could almost cry from the warmth of it.

“I think you're going to love Hogwarts, Lukas.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Philip shivered in the cold wind of the New York Harbor, his leather jacket not nearly warm enough to counteract the frigid sea breeze. He gazed wistfully at his suitcase and the warm winter robes he knew it contained. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he was back home in Buffalo, waiting by the front door of his apartment complex for the bus to Ilvermorny. But there were a few notable differences this year. First of all, the blue and cranberry Ilvermorny robes that used to fill his suitcase were replaced with plain black ones, adorned with a Hogwarts crest instead of a gold brooch. Second, in a careful inner pocket of his jacket he carried his wand, which in previous years he had to keep at school, along with the wands of all his classmates. But most notably lacking was his mother, who used to wait with him every year for the bus, nervously stroking his hands and fawning over him with the familiar scent of firewhisky on her breath. At this time last year, she was clutching her crystal ball and giving vague premonitions about his future while Philip pretended to believe her. Philip smiled wistfully at the memory, but then shook his head and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. His mother was now in a rehabilitation institute for her opium addiction, which is the reason why Philip was traveling across the world to go to a new school and stay with a family of strangers. That and the fact that the past term at Ilvermorny was hell on earth for him, but Philip tried not to think of that. “It’s a new year,” he reminded himself. No sense in dwelling in the past.

Philip scanned the dock around him, but found only hordes of No-Maj’s busily swarming the ferries. The British witch had told him to expect a group of fellow Hogwarts transfer students, but so far he was alone. With fifteen minutes to spare before the boat arrived, Philip leaned on his suitcase and observed the people going about their routines.

Across the terminal a tall No-Maj immediately caught his eye, as he was wearing a red flannel shirt and work boots more suited for a farm than for New York City. The boy was tall and lean, almost graceful, but with a stoop to his shoulders that suggested wariness. His hair was icy blond, swept out of his eyes with a sort of rugged carelessness every quidditch jock at Ilvermorny spent countless hours trying to duplicate. But most striking was his face; pale, narrow features with delicate blue eyes and sensitive dark brows that were currently furrowed in confusion. If Philip didn't know better, he would guess that the boy was part Veela.

The boy seemed to notice Philip staring and started to make his way over. Philip looked away and crossed his arms, but the boy continued to advance.

“Hi, um, I was wondering if there's a gate negative-two around here somewhere? I mean, obviously it has to be a mistake, but my directions definitely said negative-two and I was just...ah...confused.” The boy shifted awkwardly as he spoke.

Philip realized the boy wasn't a No-Maj after all, despite his clothing, and in fact was part of the group traveling to England with him, as only wizards were aware of gate negative-two. Why wizards refused to have logical numbering systems, Philip would never understand.

“Oh, hi, you must be part of the Hogwarts transfer program too," Philip said, trying to look more enthusiastic than he felt. "No, you have it right, the boat should arrive any minute now.” He gestured towards the end of the dock.

“Oh great!” The boy looked immensely relieved. “Yeah, Hogwarts. I was starting to think this was all just a crazy dream. I'm Lukas, by the way.”

“Philip.”

Lukas set his duffel next to Philip’s suitcase, looking significantly more at ease. Philip gave him a sidelong glance.

“I don’t remember seeing you at Ilvermorny, were you homeschooled?”

“Uhh, I guess you could say so? I mean, I went to Red Hook High School.”

“Red Hook? Never heard of it. What is that, a coven?” Philip knew some teenagers chose to forego official wizarding school and join small, specialized covens instead. His mom, for instance, had attended a coven for seers.

“A coven? Like a witch coven?” Lukas laughed incredulously. “Oh Jesus, you're serious, aren't you? No, Red Hook is just a regular old high school, no magic or dragons or superheroes or anything.” Lukas laughed again, a tad bit hysterically. Now it was Philip’s turn to be confused.

“Wait, you're saying you went to a No-Maj school all your life? Nobody contacted you about your magic?” The MACUSA was notoriously strict about contacting wizards born into No-Maj families—it would be dangerous any other way. The fact that Lukas went undetected for so long said he is either a really bad wizard or someone made great efforts to hide him.

“Well a lady contacted me a few days ago. What, is that late or something?”

Philip nodded slowly and incredulously. “It's practically unheard of. Most people are contacted at eleven, at the very latest.”

Lukas didn't have a response to that, and instead shifted his feet and ran a hand through his blond hair, making it even more endearingly tousled. He had large hands and feet, Philip noticed, making him seem almost like a gangly blond puppy. Around them No-Maj’s continued briskly boarding the ferries. Lukas watched them, the furrow returning to his brow.

“What even is our flight info anyways? The lady literally just told me to come here,” Lukas said.

“Flight? We're not riding broomsticks all the way to England, we're just taking the ferry.”

“Broomsticks? Wait, the ferry? Across the Atlantic Ocean? How exactly—”

Lukas’s questions were interrupted by a loud gurgling noise, accompanied by a swell of bubbles forming at the surface of the water. Clouds of steam began to rise from the water, which was violently rippling and splashing onto the docks. Lukas scrambled backwards in fear as a mass began to rise from the depths, like a kraken emerging. But Philip chuckled and pulled Lukas back by the arm to gaze at the large, dripping ferry that had emerged from the water, identical to the others beside it but made entirely of bronze. On the side of the boat, the words “The Bronze Idol” were proudly painted in black cursive.

“Looks like our ride is here."

\-----------------------------------------------------

Lukas followed Philip down the ramp, gazing with awe at his surroundings. They entered a circular corridor, made entirely of shining bronze and lit by hanging oil lamps. Upon passing the captain’s room, Lukas stopped to gape at the creature behind the wheel.

“Holy shit, is that a goblin?” Lukas stared at the small creature in an old-fashioned sailor’s uniform. It was about three feet tall, and looked almost human except for its grey skin and abnormally large fingers grasping the steering wheel.

“No, it’s a pukwudgie, and also the captain of the ship so stop staring,” Philip hissed, attempting to pull Lukas away. But it was too late.

“What’s that you called me, ya dumb piece of human trash?” The pukwudgie screeched at Lukas in a heavy Boston accent. “You think I’m a stinkin’ goblin piece of shit? How about this, why don’t you take your skinny white ass and–”

“Wait, wait, calm down, Lukas doesn’t mean to insult you, he was just raised by No-Maj’s.” Philip stepped in between Lukas and the seething pukwudgie, attempting to diffuse the situation. The pukwudgie seized up as if to continue screaming so Philip quickly spoke again. “I was house Pukwudgie, at Ilvermorny. Believe me, we have nothing but the deepest respect for your kind.” This seemed to appease the captain somewhat.

“Hm, house Pukwudgie, you say? Argh, I suppose you’re all right then. See that he learns to tell apart his magical species.” The pukwudgie gave Lukas a dirty look.

“Yes, of course, thank you sir,” Philip humbly said as he firmly pulled Lukas away by the arm. The two boys continued down the corridor.

“Well he was...angry,” said Lukas, still somewhat in shock from the experience. He noticed Philip made no effort to remove his hand from Lukas’s arm, but Lukas was secretly kind of grateful, as the gentle pressure reminded him he wasn’t dreaming. Philip laughed at Lukas’s observation of the pukwudgie.

“Yeah, you could say that. They’re notorious for their independence. And no one likes being compared to a goblin, I guess. It’s a good thing I was house Pukwudgie, or we’d probably have to steal a flying car or something to get to England.”

“Well, there are these things called airplanes, you know, said Lukas with a grin. He laughed as Philip shoved his shoulder. “Hey, why’d you leave Ilvermorny anyways? Isn’t it like, the American equivalent of Hogwarts?”

Lukas immediately regretted asking this, as all the mirth went out of Philip’s eyes and his expression became stony and blank. Philip opened his mouth to speak but then was interrupted as they reached the main seating area.

Lukas laughed in awe and wonder. The inside of the ferry was made of bronze as well, but with several rows of navy-blue velvet seats and a wood floor. Large windows spanned over the walls, letting in rays of light from the misty harbor outside. There were a few passengers dispersed throughout the rows of seats, all laden with with heavy bags like Lukas and Philip. A girl about Lukas’s age caught his eye, as she had dark, curly hair and luminous olive skin. He thought she was staring at him, but her surprised gaze was actually directed at Philip.

“Hey, I know you,” the girl called out to Philip as the two boys approached. “Honors Divination, year two, right? I didn’t think you’d end up here.” Philip looked a bit uncomfortable, but forced a smile nevertheless.

“Hi, Rose.”


	2. Travel by Sea

Rose crossed her legs and regarded the two boys across from her cooly. Philip burrowed his hands in his hoodie pocket and shifted his eyes uncomfortably, while Lukas was more preoccupied with staring unabashedly at the few other passengers in the boat.

“So who are you, and why are you here?” Rose asked Lukas, looking him up and down with a slightly too-interested expression.

“Huh? Oh, I’m Lukas. Um, I'm here for the same reason as you, right? To go to Hogwarts?”

“Yes, but why?” Rose asked slowly, as if talking to a small child.

“Oh, well I'm from a normal family. Not magic, I mean, so I'm going to Hogwarts now.”

“He was only discovered recently, no one knows why, so he's transferring late,” Philip explained. Rose still looked skeptical.

“So why aren't you just going to Ilvermorny?” Rose asked. Philip looked at Lukas as well, curious to know the answer. Lukas’s face immediately fell.

“My father didn't exactly approve of his son being a wizard,” Lukas said softly, suddenly looking very sad and very tired. “The Magical Congress or whatever thought it would be better if I go to school far away.”

“Oh wow,” Philip whispered. “I'm sorry, I had no idea.” Lukas sort of half nodded under his bangs, looking uncomfortable at the sympathy. Philip noticed he was absently fiddling with a watch in his hand, apparently unaware he was even doing it.

“Yeah, that sucks,” said Rose sympathetically. “Well, Ilvermorny’s stupid anyways, you're not missing out on much.”

“Thanks, good to know,” Lukas laughed half heartedly. “What about you, why are you going to Hogwarts?” At this, Rose snorted.

“I guess you could say I did some...experiments that didn’t make teachers so happy. I don't see why, really, I was just showing passion and enthusiasm for learning!” Rose threw up her hands in exasperation.

“Experiments? Is that what you call necromancy?” Philip scoffed.

“Necromancy?” Lukas asked. “Like...zombies?” Simultaneously, Philip nodded while Rose vehemently shook her head.

“No, of course not!” exclaimed Rose. “I was just...curious, and may have experimented on the bodies a bit, but it was all in the name of furthering magic!” Philip laughed a short, harsh laugh and turned to Lukas.

“Two of our classmates had just _died_ and she decides to start meddling with their dead bodies.”

“Ok first of all, you have no right to judge me because you had the social status of a house elf at Ilvermorny. And second, it wasn't like that! I just thought it was...romantic. I wondered what they'd be like, if they came back to life for just a moment.” Rose’s face became distant and dreamy. “They died in each other's arms, you know? Imagine if we died young and beautiful, staring up at the trees…”

Lukas was staring at her with his mouth wide open, his expression a blend of shock, disgust, and mild hysteria. Philip simply sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Rose has never been kind to him, but he'd never have guessed she do something so creepy and flat-out wrong. But then again, he never would have guessed a number of things that happened at Ilvermorny last year would have happened. “So I'm traveling with a clueless No-Maj and a total psychopath,” thought Philip. “This is just fantastic.” Said clueless No-Maj suddenly jumped out of his seat as the boat gave a sudden lurch and began descending into the water.

“Shit, are we going under?” Lukas looked panicked but fairly excited as well. " _Savage,_ " he grinned, taking Rose's raised eyebrows and Philip’s pale face as a yes. He ran to the window like a child in a candy store, as the boat quickly became surrounded by water. Philip would have laughed at his eagerness, but was growing increasingly anxious and overwhelmed as they descended deeper. He buried his face in his hands and tried to take slow, calming breaths.

“Should've stolen a flying car after all,” he mumbled to himself.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Lukas pressed his hands to the glass of the window and gazed with awe at the ocean surrounding him. Mostly it was just dark, he supposed, but there were occasional glimpses of fish and other creatures illuminated by the light of the boat. He swore he saw a man with a shark head in the water as well, paddling around the dark ocean depths doggy-style. At this point, nothing would surprise him.

Lukas noticed other passengers were staring at him. A young woman in deep purple robes and matching hair was smirking at him, and a pukwudgie in a business suit was peering at him over his newspaper. Lukas realized he must look rather stupid, staring out the window into darkness. With an awkward cough, he removed himself from the window and made his way back to where Philip was sitting.

“Wow, I still can't believe we're under the Atlantic Ocean,” Lukas said with a grin as he plopped down beside Philip. “Dude, are you ok?” he asked, noticing the other boy’s clear discomfort.

“Yeah yeah, I'm fine,” Philip assured, unclamping his clenched hands to run them on his jeans. “I just, uh...seasickness. Yeah.” His face did look decidedly green, Lukas noticed.

“Oh, sorry, man. I would tell you to look at the horizon, but that doesn't seem to be an option. You can totally come look at the water with me, though, there are some pretty cool fish.”

“No no, that's ok,” Philip said, a bit too quickly. “Really, I'm fine, I'm just gonna stay here.” Philip looked resolutely at the floor in front of his feet.

“...Ok, whatever makes you happy.” With nothing better to do, Lukas took out his phone and earbuds.

“Oh my god, is that a cellphone?” Philip leaned over to peer at the device in Lukas’s hand, his nauseous expression giving way to curiosity.

“Um, yeah. Do wizards not have them?” Philip shook his head and continued to peer over Lukas’s shoulder with awe as he unlocked his phone. Lukas laughed at Philip’s awestruck expression and handed the phone to him. “Here, go ahead. I guess I was the same when I saw my first wand,” he laughed. Philip looked like an excited child given chocolate for the first time.

“Really? Sweet, thanks!” Philip eagerly began swiping his finger back and forth on the iPhone screen. “I've seen so many No-Maj’s with these, but Ilvermorny never let us have them. Not that they would have worked anyways, the magic interferes with the technology or something.”

“Easy, it's a touch screen, you don't have to jab it so hard,” Lukas laughed as Philip eagerly tried to press every app on the screen. “Yeah, doesn't look like there's any internet in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I guess I'm not surprised. Here, let me show you something cool.”

Lukas gently took the phone away from Philip and plugged in the earbuds. He flipped through his songs and pulled up some Radiohead—Philip seemed like an alternative rock kind of guy, and then offered the earbuds to him.

“You put them in your ears, dummy,” Lukas said at Philip’s confused expression. Philip’s mouth formed an O in understanding, and then grew into an elated grin as he heard the music.

“This is amazing!” Philip shouted.

“Shhh, you don't have to yell,” Lukas laughed, checking to see if anyone had noticed.

“Sorry,” Philip whispered. “It sounds so cool, how does it even work?”

“I don't know, some complicated technology things. Hey, maybe it's magic after all.”

Philip smiled and continued listening to the music. He had a nice smile, Lukas noticed; a small, sweet curve of the lips that lit up his eyes under long lashes. Lukas couldn't imagine growing up without music and technology, but then again he supposed magic kind of made up for missing all of that. He sighed as he once again realized his life was about to be entirely different.

The two boys sat like that for a few minutes, until Rose returned with her hands full of snacks.

“Oh my god, is that a cellphone?” Rose asked disbelievingly, just as Philip had done earlier. Philip nodded and handed over the phone, which Rose proceeded to swipe and tap with the same enthusiasm as Philip. Lukas was more concerned with the packet of gummy worms Rose had brought that appeared to be squirming in their bag like actual worms.

“Hey, what's this?” asked Rose, pointing at the photo of Lukas’s beloved bike that was his lock screen. “Do you ride a motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Lukas smiled nostalgically. “Well, not anymore, I guess. I doubt they'll let me at Hogwarts.” The other two nodded in agreement. Of all the things Lukas was leaving behind, he would miss motorcross the most. Nothing ever gave him the same thrill of speeding through the forests of Tivoli feeling the wind rush against his body, or the breathless exhilaration he felt after a jump. He had always been known as the motorcross kid; it's what had made him cool, and without it he barely knew who he was, let alone how to go about navigating in a school of wizards.

 _It’s gonna be an interesting few months,_  Lukas thought.


	3. Decisions

Philip yawned and removed the earbuds from his ears, blearily taking note of his surroundings. Lukas was sprawled out asleep on the seat next to him, his legs stretched out and his mouth slightly open. Philip smiled at the snuffling sleeping noises he made. Rose was long gone, foregoing their uncool presence to go flirt with a group of bearded wizards. With a groan, Philip sat up straighter and stretched his back, which caused Lukas to wake with a grumble of unintelligible words.

“What's that, sleepy?” Philip teased. Lukas gave him a grumpy look.

“Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, I think so, just a few more minutes.” Lukas nodded and rubbed a hand through his hair, just as a tall man in a baseball cap approached.

“Do either of you know the time?” The man spoke softly in a rich baritone, but something about his impassive expression and the way he didn't quite look them in the eye was off putting. Lukas grabbed his phone off Philip’s lap.

“8:15, American time.”

“Thanks.” The man started to walk away, but glanced back and stopped in his tracks. “You wouldn't happen to be Hogwarts students, would you?” When they affirmed that they were, the man said, “I'm to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher there. I look forward to teaching you.” The man smiled a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and walked away before the boys could respond.

Lukas snorted. “Well that wasn't creepy at all.”

“Yup, this is the part where he offers us candy and drags us into his car,” Philip deadpanned, making Lukas laugh.

After a few more minutes, the ship began to make a gurgling noise, and rose to the surface.

“Thank Merlin,” muttered Philip. The boys began gathering their belongings. “Hey, I forgot to ask you,” Philip said, grabbing Lukas’s arm. “Where are you going to be staying? Because there are still a few weeks before Hogwarts starts.”

“Oh yeah, I'm staying in London, in some home for misplaced muggle-borns or whatever. What about you, will you be close?”

“No, not really, I'll be staying in Plymouth with some retired auror and her husband.” The boys began making their way to the tunnel they entered from. “I guess I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express then?

“Yeah, I guess.” Lukas bit his lip, looking unsure. Philip felt the same way. He had grown genuinely fond of Lukas over the trip, and the thought of leaving him now to travel to Plymouth alone was a daunting one. They stared at each other for another moment, neither knowing what to say, before Lukas ducked his head and beckoned Philip onwards.

“Come on, let's get out of here.” Philip thought this was an excellent idea. Upon reaching the surface, he took deep breaths of the fresh air, infinitely happy to be out of the ocean.

The docks in Dover were much like the docks in New York, Philip noticed, except foggier and less crowded. The sun had set, and street lamps illuminated the area. Philip noticed a couple waiting by the gates that matched the descriptions Helen and Gabe had sent to him. He guessed that the rather eccentric looking old lady in fur robes was Lukas’s caretaker as well.

“So...I guess this is where we part ways,” said Lukas as he shifted from foot to foot, looking like he didn't quite know what to do with his body.

“Yeah, for now.” Philip felt a sudden surge of affection for the gangly, awkward, and utterly adorable boy in front of him. “Fuck it,” he thought, and went in for a hug. Lukas was startled for a moment, and then hesitantly wrapped his arms around Philip's shoulders, awkwardly patting his back. Philip reassured himself that this was a perfectly normal thing for two people to do, and tried not to think about how good Lukas’s hair smelled. He pulled away before it got awkward and looked at his surroundings, noticing Helen and Gabe slowly approaching.

“Oh crap, I almost forgot,” said Philip, digging into his pocket. “Here.” He pulled out Lukas's phone. Lukas took it, but then seemed to reconsider, and handed it back to Philip.

“No, you keep it. I think you'll appreciate it more than me. Plus this way you owe me, so I know you won't abandon me on the way to Hogwarts,” Lukas said with a grin. Philip smiled and pocketed the phone.

“Darn, I was gonna go off and have wild adventures by myself.”

Then Philip was warmly welcomed by Helen and Gabe before apparating away, and Lukas was beckoned by the fur lady into a bright fuschia station wagon, and the two went off to their new homes.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Life in an orphanage was entirely different from everything Lukas was accustomed to. First of all, he was unused to the sheer amount of other people he was living with. Back home, it had just been him and his father, but with his dad out working on the farm all the time, it was basically like living alone. Here, in addition to Ms. Dommus, there were at least twelve other kids, all like Lukas in that they were on bad terms with their muggle parents. The oldest was Lukas’s roommate: a sixteen year old Asian boy called Winston, whose parents had dreams for to go to Cambridge, which were ruined upon finding out he was a wizard. Winston liked to spend his time poring over large novels and textbooks, while Lukas was never much of a reader, but the two got along well enough.

The second difference Lukas noticed was how crowded everything was. The apartment, his bedroom, and London itself were all compact and full of people, unlike the spacious house to himself and the vast empty forests of Tivoli he was used to. It was nice seeing all the different types of people in the city and not having to drive five miles to the grocery store, but Lukas found himself missing the silence at night.

The third difference was that everything was so _British_. From the morning tea to the crazy language (what the heck are bollocks anyways?), Lukas perpetually felt like an awkward, bumbling American. He supposed he had always been an awkward, bumbling American, but the difference was that now he was surrounded by Brits while doing so.

But, different as it was, Lukas found he didn’t mind his new life so much. Without motorcross and the internet to occupy him, he had nothing to do but talk to the other children and learn about the wizarding world, which he was becoming more and more eager to join. Ms. Hortentia Dommus, affectionately pegged “Hortie” by the children, was a strict rule maker, but was also kind and entertainingly eccentric (if her colorful clothing choices were anything to go by). The previous day she had taken them all to Diagon Alley to get supplies for school. Lukas had gotten a wand as well–Chestnut with a phoenix feather core, fourteen inches, the old wandmaker had said. Lukas now lay on his back on his top bunk, twirling his new wand in his hand.

“Hey Winston, you still awake?” Lukas peered over his bunk at the other boy.

“I was just doing some light reading in preparation for school, so yes.” Winston set aside the large potions tome in his lap.

“Tell me more about Hogwarts,” Lukas implored

Winston yawned and drawled, “You realize Hogwarts is a rather large area to cover, right? Any specific questions in mind?”

Lukas thought for a moment. “What about the houses? I thought I heard something about those.”

“Ah yes, each student gets sorted into one of four houses by a magical sorting hat. Gryffindor is for the brave, Hufflepuff for the kind, Slytherin for total arseholes, and Ravenclaw for geniuses like myself.” Lukas remembered Philip saying something about houses at Ilvermorny, so he guessed it must be the same concept. Philip had to be a Hufflepuff, Lukas thought–he just seemed so gentle and sweet. As for himself, he had no clue. He didn’t feel as if he really exemplified any of the qualities mentioned.

“Why are Slytherins...arseholes?”

“Well technically they’re supposed to be the house of cunning and determination, but really it’s just where all the muggle-hating purebloods go. They’re not exactly friendly to people like you and me.” Winston seemed to notice Lukas’s worry, and said, “Don’t worry, there’s no chance of you getting sorted into Slytherin–it just doesn’t happen to muggle-borns.”

“Huh. That’s good, I guess.” Discrimination based on people’s birth and status–”Sounds just like the regular world,” thought Lukas.

Winston fell asleep, but Lukas remained staring at the ceiling as he twirled his wand, lost in thought. When he had first heard of Hogwarts, he felt a brief spark of hope that the wizarding world would be an amazing, accepting place that would allow him to let go of what others thought of him and just live his life in peace. But realistically, he knew this wasn’t possible. If his peers already had the extra ammunition to use against him of being a muggle-born, as well as transferring in late, he would have to be careful to fit in with his classmates in every other way. He decided he would play by the rules, do the same kinds of things as others, and give his peers no extra material to use against him. Of course, this meant his biggest secret, the one he couldn’t even admit to himself, would have to remain locked away tightly.

Lukas glanced at the pocketwatch his father had given him that was resting on the table by his bed. He thought of the pride in his father’s eyes as he gave it to his son, when Lukas got his first sponsor. He thought of the confusion, rage, and disgust in his father’s eyes when the witch first came to their house; the angry shouting and then, even worse, the silence. And then he thought of Hogwarts, of all he could learn and become, and of how badly he just wanted to _fit in_ for once in his life. Lukas sighed. “What’s another few years of lying?” he asked himself. After all, he had been keeping secrets from his friends and his father his whole life. Some things are meant to stay hidden forever.


	4. The Hogwarts Express

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Learn from Scorpius's mistakes, guys, don't mess with the trolley witch.

“Are you all set, Philip? Got everything you need?” Gabe held the door open as Philip hauled his heavy suitcase outside to where Helen was waiting in the car.

“Yeah, I think I’m good. Oh wait, crap,” Philip dropped his suitcase to run back upstairs and retrieve Lukas’s cellphone. “Would’ve sucked if I forgot this,” he said to Gabe. Gabe chuckled heartily.

“There is this thing called mail, you know. Helen and I can owl you anything you forget.”

“Oh, right...thanks,” Philip said, quickly glancing at Gabe’s kind smile. He still wasn’t used to having a parental figure that looked after him, that did normal things like make breakfast and send things he left behind in the mail. He loved his mother dearly, but most of the time it felt like he was the one taking care of her, not the other way around.

“Oi, hurry up, you don’t want to miss the train,” Helen called from the car. Philip hurried to put his suitcase in the trunk, his phone now safely in hand. Over the past two weeks, Philip had learned to appreciate and care for Gabe, but he still wasn’t quite sure what to make of Helen. In a sense, he felt she was similar to him, as she didn’t readily display her emotions in a way that suggested a dark and troubled past. But Philip also got the feeling she didn’t trust him.

The three of them drove through the long, wooded roads of Plymouth towards London, casually talking and joking in the familial way Philip had grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. Philip looked out the window at the disappearing countryside and felt the beginnings of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. What would Hogwarts really be like? What if it just became a repeat of his experiences at Ilvermorny? Philip vowed to do everything he could to make sure that didn’t happen. It was a new year; he was going to make new friends, keep his head down, and have an entirely average, boring school year.

But there was that matter of Lukas...Philip doubted anything could be average or boring concerning him. The No-Maj-born had a natural luminosity about him that he was completely oblivious to; the kind of pure, innocent likeability that would make him instantly popular in any social circle. His boyish carelessness and affinity for daring motorcycle stunts (Philip had watched his videos on his phone) also gave him a sort of reckless charm, which made people naturally gravitate towards him.

There was no sense in denying it: Philip liked him a lot. He supposed he had been attracted since the moment he first laid eyes on him at the ferry building, but the sharing of the journey to England, as well as the minor (ok, extensive) stalking he had done on his phone made him realize the true extent of his attraction.

Philip sighed. This was just his luck, setting his hopes on what was clearly the straightest boy in the history of heterosexuality. So much for an average school year.

“You alright back there, Philip?” Gabe asked. “You seem awfully quiet.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just...nervous about the new school year.” Philip was not lying–he felt so nervous he was strongly considering opening the door of the moving car and making a break for it right then and there. Gabe made a sympathetic noise.

“It can’t be easy, transferring in as a sixth-year. But I’m sure a cool kid like you will make plenty of friends in no time. Philip huffed out a skeptical laugh.

“We’ll see about that.”

After about an hour of driving (the car was clearly enchanted to drive faster), they finally reached King’s Cross station. It was a busy day, the station packed with people going about their business. Philip felt right at home. As much as he had enjoyed the peace and quiet of the countryside, he had felt oddly exposed there. He much preferred the busy crowds of a city, where he could be comfortably alone while surrounded by people.

Philip wound his way through the hordes of people until he reached the station. After some prodding from Gabe, he ran through the brick pillar into Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, and then gazed around at the excitement of the platform. There were all types of people, from crying eleven-year olds to sullen teenagers ignoring their parents, all making their way onto the shining Hogwarts Express. Since Ilvermorny was on a mountain, most students who couldn’t fly broomsticks took buses or individual cars up the steep roads, so taking a train full of his future classmates was a new experience which Philip was both excited and nervous about.

Philip gave his grateful goodbyes to Gabe and Helen, and boarded the train, searching for hints of icy blond hair in the corridors. Luckily, he didn’t have to search for long.

“Hey, Philip! In here!” Lukas called from a compartment, where he was sitting with Rose and a bored looking Asian boy. At his entrance, Rose removed herself from where she was plastered to Lukas’s side and gave Philip a disgusted look.

“Bye Lukas, I’ll see you later,” she cooed, ignoring Philip and the Asian boy entirely before sauntering off.

“Bye, Rose…” Lukas waved half-heartedly, looking after her retreating figure nervously. There was a definite look of fear in his eyes, Philip noted. “Oh hey, Philip! This is Winston, my roommate from London,” Lukas gestured to the other boy.

“Hi Winston, nice to meet you,” said Philip. Winston yawned in response.

“A pleasure, I’m sure. Oh look–my friends, gotta go.” And with that, Winston was out of the door, leaving Philip and Lukas alone in the compartment.

“So...how’ve you been?” Lukas fixed Philip with a wide, charming grin, completely unaware of the effects it had on the other boy. Philip noticed he had already changed into his black Hogwarts robes. They draped his tall figure elegantly and brought out the luminous pale glow of his skin, a vast improvement from his previous No-Maj farm clothes.

“Oh, you know, I’ve been fine. It’s a bit weird living out in the countryside, but Helen and Gabe are nice enough,” said Philip.

“Yeah, it’s been weird for me living in the city. Plus everything’s just so British, you know? It’s been kinda hard adjusting.” At this, Philip struck a confused look.

“What do you mean, mate? I think everything’s been bloody brilliant,” Philip said in an exaggerated accent, then sputtered “Crikey!” when Lukas threw his backpack at him.

“You’re a dick,” laughed Lukas.

“Guess I’m ready to be sorted into Slytherin, then.”

“Yeah, true.”

A horn on the train blew, signaling the train’s departure. Philip stuck his head out the window to wave at Helen and Gabe, watching their figures grow smaller. When the station was no longer visible, he got back into the compartment. Lukas was looking contemplative.

“What do you actually think you’ll be?” Lukas asked. “I have a feeling you’ll be a Hufflepuff.”

“That’s where all the rejects from the other houses go, right? Yeah, sounds about right.”

“What? No!” Lukas seemed upset at Philip’s assumption. “I just, I mean, I think you’re really nice, like Hufflepuffs are supposed to be.”

“Me, nice?” Philip asked disbelievingly. But Lukas avoided eye contact and fiddled with the hems of his new robes, showing Philip he was serious. “Thanks, I guess. I was House Pukwudgie at Ilvermorny, which is supposed to be about heart and healing, so I guess Hufflepuff is similar enough. If it means anything, I think you’ll be a Gryffindor.”

“Why, ‘cause I do motorcross?” Philip nodded. If a boy who did flips going at fifty miles-per-hour on a No-Maj invention wasn’t a Gryffindor, Philip didn’t know who was. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” Lukas bit his lip and looked out the window, the sunlight illuminating his wide blue eyes and making his hair a perfect blond halo around his head.

_Oh, will you stop it, Philip. Just save yourself the trouble for once._

The two boys ride in the train a while longer, enjoying the crisp warm weather and making predictions about Hogwarts.

“I bet we’ll learn how to turn things into frogs,” said Lukas gleefully.

“That’s called Transfiguration, idiot. I bet there’ll be dragons there.”

“Dragons? Oh, come on, that has got to be illegal.”

“Well they are in America but in England, who knows?”

“Ok, maybe.” Lukas thought for a moment. “I bet there’ll be giant bugs. As big as this train!”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a forest full of giant spiders.”

“Giant spiders? Are you kidding me?” Seeing Philip was serious, Lukas looked horrified. “Oh my god, there’s no way I can deal with that.” Lukas eyed the train window. “It’s not too late to escape, we could jump out the window–”

“I _really_ wouldn’t recommend that, dear.”

The two boys swiveled in their seats to see an old witch pushing a trolley full of sweets, her kind smile belied by her threatening and slightly maniacal eyes.

“Anything from the trolley, dears? Pumpkin Pasty? Chocolate Frog? Cauldron Cake?”

Philip noticed the serial-killer potential in the old witch’s eyes and shook his head wordlessly, but Lukas was entranced by the sweets. He scrambled in his pocket for change, pulling out a shiny gold Galleon.

“How much can this buy me?”

For the rest of the train ride, they feasted. Philip was excited to try the different British brands of wizarding sweets, while Lukas was more interested in the fact that his chocolate frogs were in fact, real, moving frogs (“Does it hurt them when I eat them?”). A few hours later, when night had fallen and the train was lit by lanterns, Philip tried to offer Lukas’s cellphone back, which Lukas again refused.

“No, I’m serious man, keep it.” Philip opened his mouth as if to say something but Lukas cut him off. “Seriously, I don’t want it, it’s yours. I guess it, like, represents a part of my life that I need to move away from. I’m a wizard now–who needs a phone?” Philip nodded and pocketed the phone once more, trying to ignore the fluttery feelings in his stomach as Lukas gave him the gift.

They rode the train for a while longer, until Lukas looked out the window and perked up.

“Look, is that a castle in the distance?” The two boys stood side by side in the compartment, gazing out the window as the great, glittering castle on the lake grew nearer and the train slowed to a stop. They had arrived at Hogwarts.


	5. Sorting

Lukas followed the masses of black robes and pointy black wizard caps out of the train and into the carriages pulled by vicious-looking winged horse creatures. There was a feeling of serene mysticism in the air, and the night was dark and cooled by the rippling lake surrounding the huge stone castle.

 

All around him, students were chatting and catching up with each other on their carriages, but he and Philip maintained a sort of reverent silence. Glancing at Philip, he noticed the other boy had a small smile, gazing at the approaching castle softly under long lashes. The look on his face was...hopeful? Eager? Nervous?

 

Lukas swallowed and gazed at his surroundings nervously himself. He pretended he didn’t see a tentacle poking out of the lake’s surface.

 

When they reached the castle, an enormous man heaved open the gates, making the students look like puny black ants beneath him. His massive figure and wild gray mane would be terrifying, if not for his friendly grin and hearty, bellowing laugh. He chuckled kindly as he beckoned the students inside.

 

“Welcome to Hogwarts,” the giant said as Lukas and Philip passed. “Oops, sorry ‘bout that,” he added, after patting Philip on the back and causing him to nearly plummet towards the ground. Lukas darted forward to catch Philip’s shoulders as he fell, but then just as quickly dropped him again upon seeing the breathtaking Great Hall.

 

The hall was lit by thousands of candles floating in the air over four long tables, which were already filling up with students. At the top of the hall was another table where the teachers were sitting; a stern looking old witch clad in green was in the middle, chatting with a dark-haired, round-faced younger man. Lukas noted the strange man from the boat sitting slightly apart from the other teachers, his baseball cap traded for a pair of dark grey robes. Lukas looked up and saw a black ceiling dotted with glinting stars, slightly obscured by the layer of mist below it.

 

“Wow,” he gasped, pulling at Philip’s arm to look up at the ceiling.

 

“Yup,” Philip smiled at the wonder-struck muggle-born. “That’s magic for you.” Lukas’s amazement was interrupted by the appearance of a young teacher catching sight of them.

 

“Misters Waldenbeck and Shea? The new transfer students? Come this way, please.” The boys followed the woman’s curly afro into a study off the side of the hall. Rose was already waiting in a chair in front of the desk, and Philip and Lukas sat in the other two chairs. The teacher sat across from them and fixed them with a wide, youthful grin.

 

“First of all, welcome to Hogwarts, it’s a true pleasure to have you here. I’m Professor Davis, Potions teacher and head of Hufflepuff House, but you can just call me Kamila.” She pulled out a wand and summoned a stack of papers to waft over in front of her.

 

“So I understand the two of you are transferring from Ilvermorny while you, Mr. Waldenbeck, are coming in as a first year?” Kamila fixed Lukas with a piercing stare as he nodded in affirmation.

 

“Hm, yes this will be quite an adjustment. For the two of you,” she gestured towards Philip and Rose, “you’ll be given class schedules similar to your fellow sixth years, but with extra classes after school hours and on the weekends to make up classes not offered at Ilvermorny, namely Divination and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Luckily, the American and British curriculums are relatively similar, so you should be on track to take your NEWTs by the end of the year. As for you, Mr. Waldenbeck, we have a few options.”

 

Divination? Dark Arts? NEWTs? Lukas felt the sinking sensation in his stomach grow as he realized how truly behind he was.

 

“One option is for you to join the class of the first years and remain with them until you graduate in seven year’s time,” said Kamila. Be in a class with a bunch of eleven year olds? Not freaking likely.

 

“However, I understand you may wish to study with classmates your own age, in which case I would recommend an accelerated study program. This would mean taking extra classes, private tutoring sessions on weekends and throughout the weekday, and a great deal of individual study. With lots of hard work and additional schooling over the summer, you may be caught up to your age group by next year.”

 

“Yes, that,” Lukas blurted out. “Um, I want to catch up with the others, I mean.”

 

“Are you absolutely certain? This would mean long hours of study and little free time to hang out with your friends. It’s not something I recommend lightly.”

 

Lukas took a breath and rubbed the watch in his pocket out of habit. He certainly wasn’t afraid of hard work; life on a farm had taught him that much. Kamila didn’t seem to understand that, to Lukas, immersing himself in his studies was the obvious choice–the only choice. He _needed_ to spend every waking hour learning everything there was about magic, just as he had needed to ride his motorbike for long hours, practicing courses and jumps over and over again until he was dirty and exhausted and for a blissful moment could forget about his father and all the ways he let him down. Without his motorcycle, his friends, and any fragment of his previous life in his possession, Lukas needed Hogwarts, and was fully prepared to plunge in head first and never look back.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Lukas had never been more sure in his life. “I’m not afraid to work hard.” And being in the same class with Philip too...well, that would be an added bonus. Lukas glanced at the other boy, who was giving him that sweet, gentle (proud?) curve of the lips that made his chest feel oddly jittery.

 

“Well that settles that,” said Kamila, her wide grin returning. “With that hard-working attitude, I hope to see you sorted into Hufflepuff! Speaking of which, the three of you should get back to the hall. Don’t want to miss the sorting ceremony.”

 

With that, the trio returned to the Great Hall and joined the line of first years gathered by the front of the room. In the center of the room was a stool with a dirty, battered wizard hat on it. The stern looking old lady (Headmistress McGonagall, Lukas learned after she gave her speech) called students up individually to place the hat on their heads, which then called out the house they would be sorted into. By now Lukas had learned not to question the effectiveness of wizarding customs, even if it meant letting a battered old hat decide his future.

 

A few first years were sorted, and then Rose was called up. After a few seconds of deliberation, the hat shouted “ _Slytherin,”_ and Rose happily bounded over to the cheering table. Lukas wasn’t surprised; Rose was certainly cunning, to the point that he never had any idea what she was thinking.

 

A few more students, and then Philip was called, self-consciously perching on the stool and hiding his hands in his robes as the sorting hat deliberated. He was clearly uncomfortable at the hundreds of eyes staring at him.

 

“ _Hufflepuff,”_ roared the sorting hat. Philip’s face broke into a rare full grin as he strode towards the table of cheering Hufflepuffs, gratefully sliding into a seat that his new classmates readily opened up for him.

 

Lukas gulped. They were reaching the end of the list, only Lukas and a few others left to be sorted. What if the sorting hat decided he didn’t belong in any of the houses? What if he wasn’t a wizard after all, and was told to go back home? What if–

 

“Waldenbeck, Lukas,” McGonagall’s crisp voice called from the roster.

 

Lukas wiped his sweaty palms on his robes and awkwardly made his way to perch on the too-short stool, as the headmistress placed the hat on his head. Lukas jumped as a seedy voice appeared in his head.

 

 _“Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult,_ ” drawled the hat. _Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There’s talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?”_

 

Of course the sorting hat had to have a hard time figuring out where to put him. Nothing could ever be easy with Lukas. “ _Honestly, I’d be happy anywhere that isn’t Slytherin,_ ” Lukas thought.

 

 _“Not Slytherin, you say? Oh but I think Slytherin is exactly the place for you to be. Determination, a tireless drive to succeed, and a great deal of cunning as well. What did you expect to be, a Hufflepuff?”_ The sorting hat laughed raucously inside Lukas’s head at its own joke. _“No, no, the choice is clear, better be..._ SLYTHERIN.”

 

The sorting hat bellowed the last word out to the hall, and Lukas was filled with a blank, white sense of dread. Like a robot, he mechanically made his way to the Slytherin table, where a group of Slytherins Lukas’s age parted to let him sit.

 

“Welcome to Slytherin, Lukas,” a snide looking boy with carefully groomed black hair and slight buck teeth said. He held out a hand. “I’m Barnabus Nott. I don’t recognize your surname, are you a half-blood?” His mouth curled at the top disdainfully as he said the last words.

 

“I–” Lukas knew it would be a very bad idea to reveal his true background. “Yes, um, my mom was a witch. She died when I was really little.” Lukas’s chest ached a bit at the half-lie. He felt he had only just escaped his previous web of lies at Red Hook and now was automatically slipping back into his old, cursed habits. But he knew it was necessary. After all, he was a Slytherin now.

 

“Sorry about your mum, mate,” Barnabus said, looking anything but sorry. “It must have been horrid living with a _muggle_ your whole life.” Lukas ignored the sting and instead chuckled and tossed his hair out of his eyes.

 

“Yeah, man, you have no idea," Lukas drawled, letting his cool mannerisms from Red Hook slip back on easily. Barnabus nodded approvingly and introduced him to his other friends. Lukas smiled and laughed at their jokes, putting on the confident, smirking facade that he knew made people like him.

 

He faltered for a moment as he locked eyes with Philip, sitting at the Hufflepuff table across from him. Philip gazed at him with a look of...sadness? Pity? But then he looked away and laughed softly at something another Hufflepuff said.

 

Lukas returned to the Slytherins, pretending to laugh at their jokes he didn’t understand and share their cool disregard for the other houses. Pretending the disdainful comments and biting contempt he was so easily able to throw out didn’t make his chest ache with nausea and self-disgust. Pretending his stomach didn’t hurt at the sheer  _terror_ of being found out by his peers, and the cruelty and torment he knew would inevitably follow.

  
Luckily, Lukas was good at pretending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all happy with my sorting decisions! Keep in mind I have great respect for Slytherins, despite how they may be portrayed for a while. Poor Lukas is gonna have some tough times ahead, trying to pretend he's not a muggle-born.


	6. Sunrise

After eating so much food he thought he would burst, Lukas followed the other Slytherins to the dorms. He had envisioned a lot of potential dorm rooms before coming, but a dungeon was not one of them. Yet here he was, following a bunch of his pompous classmates down countless staircases into corridors of unforgiving stone, the air cool and moist from being under the lake. _I doubt Philip would like it here much,_ Lukas thought wryly. If the Hufflepuff balked at being in a boat, there was no way he would enjoy living in a dungeon under a lake.

 

Barnabus Nott haughtily yelled “cockatrice” at a stretch of stone, causing a doorway to reveal itself and slide open. When he stepped into the common room, the first thing Lukas processed was _green_ . The whole room was lit by eery green light, casting unearthly shadows on the antiquated furniture like something out of a horror movie. The lavish sofas and armchairs had cushions of dark green leather, and ornate green rugs covered the stone floor. The fancy green furniture, combined with the portraits of serious-looking nobles staring down at him, gave the room a grand feel, but also a cold one. The second thing Lukas thought was _snakes._ There were carvings of stone snakes all around the room, including one portrait of a very large and very menacing snake high on the wall above the fireplace, which stared down at the students with a flickering red tongue as if to say, “Die, puny humans. One day I shall devour you whole.”

 

Barnabus sniggered and said, “Yeah, we call him Fido. He's supposed to be a basilisk. Apparently a few years ago there was a real basilisk in the pipes of the castle, and only Slytherins could talk to it.”

 

Fido the basilisk. That was...deeply unsettling. Lukas chose to focus instead on the nicely-sized, very much dead stone snakes decorating the arm posts of the chairs. Lukas certainly wasn’t afraid of snakes; in fact, when he used to run into them in the fields back home he would always smile down at them, admiring the smooth lines of their elegant bodies and the flickering of their small tongues. But there was no denying that the Slytherins’ tastes in snake decorations were a tad bit excessive.

 

Barnabus then led him down even more staircases into the dormitory they were to share, along with the two other sixth year Slytherin boys. Lukas was pleased to note that the circular stone walls were decorated with cozy green banners instead of menacing portraits, and the four poster beds appeared large and cushy. A large stone fireplace was at the end of the wall, giving the room light and warmth. Lukas was pleasantly surprised; it was the most comfortable room he’d seen since leaving Tivoli.

 

Barnabus then introduced Lukas to their other roommates. One was a shifty-eyed blond called Horatio Sayre, who seemed to follow Barnabus around everywhere and guffawed too loudly at his snide remarks. The other was a tall, muscular boy called Alfie Flint, who barely said a word all night, instead sitting back and observing with dark, unreadable eyes. Lukas noticed a shiny, well-groomed broomstick leaning on the side of Alfie’s bed, and made a note to ask him about it later.

 

But now, Lukas was exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to curl up in the dark grey sheets of his new bed and sleep. After a quick shower (thank God running water was something wizards and muggles had in common), Lukas dropped onto his bed and put his arms behind his head. He sleepily gazed at the pocket watch carefully placed on his nightstand, and then at the dark silhouettes of his new classmates, his _wizard_ classmates, quietly chatting in the room in the dungeon beneath the lake. And then he let a grin spread across his face.

 

“If only you could see me now, dad.”

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Philip was walking through the steep and twisted garden paths in the school on top of the mountain, his hand swinging playfully in the grasp of the taller boy beside him._

 

_“So this is a bit of a surprise,” Philip said softly to the taller boy, a shy smile on his face. Remi smiled back, his cranberry scarf blowing in the wind as snow dust gathered on his dark eyelashes._

 

_“What’s there to be surprised about? I like you, you like me, it’s simple,” Remi answered. His smile grew, brown eyes crinkling as he reached forward to brush Philip’s snow-covered hair out of his eyes. Philip knew it was not simple, not when Remi was the most popular boy in Ilvermorny and Philip was just a weird outcast with a crazy seer for a mother. But in this moment, with the chill wind blowing on the mountaintop and the warm hand of the other boy in his, Philip couldn’t bring himself to care._

 

_Until everything fell apart._

 

_Until Remi brought him to the edge of the mountain stream, not yet frozen over but with shards of ice gathered in clusters on the water top._

 

_Until Philip looked into the once kind eyes that were now filled with the disdainful mirth Philip should have come to expect by now._

 

_Until the rest of the teenagers emerged from their hiding spots with cruel whoops of laughter to witness the humiliation, and Philip couldn’t stop the hot tears of shame from running down his cheeks as Remi and the others laughed in his face._

 

 _As a final act of humiliation, the children shoved him into the icy stream, the near-freezing temperature shocking his system with painful, mind-numbing_ cold. _They laughed and jeered as he floundered around but they didn’t realize_ no, _he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t_ swim.

 

 _He kicked his legs helplessly, felt icy cold water fill his lungs. He was drowning, he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t_ breathe, _and no one was going to help him, he–_

 

Philip woke up with a jerk, panting and covered in sweat. He placed his hands on his heaving chest as his body desperately gasped for air. _Count backwards from ten,_ his mother had always told him after the worst of his nightmares. It was just a dream, he reminded himself, closing his eyes and slowly counting backwards. Well no, it was more than just a dream, it was harsh reality, but what mattered now was that he wasn’t there any more, he was...where was he again, exactly?

 

Oh right, Hogwarts. In his cozy new Hufflepuff dorm room, which explained the colorful patchwork quilt beneath his fingers and the scent of herbs and rich earth permeating the air. Philip looked around for a clock, then looked at Lukas’s phone when he couldn’t find one. Three-thirty AM. Fantastic.

 

Philip knew from experience there was no way he’d fall back asleep at this point, so he grabbed his robes and tiptoed out through the circular door, careful not to wake his sleeping classmates.

 

Emerging into the common room, he gazed fondly at the plush yellow and black furnishings, remembering the previous night. The friendly sixth year girl, Tamsin Belby, that he sat next to at the feast, had enthusiastically shown him around and introduced him to what must have been every single Hufflepuff in the school. Professor Kamila, the Head of House, had also come to personally greet all the new students. The welcoming nature and genuine cheerfulness surrounding him was not something Philip was used to, yet he certainly didn’t mind it. He also wasn’t used to the sheer amount of greenery covering the room; lush green leaves hung from the ceiling and exotic potted plants covered every surface. Back home in the city, Philip only ever saw the weeds growing out of the cracked cement in front of his apartment and the single wilting potted plant his mother insisted on keeping.

 

Philip looked at the large circular door leading out of the common room and had a sudden urge to go outside and explore the castle. He knew it was against the rules but figured there was no harm in walking around, so long as he didn’t cause any trouble. Plus he needed fresh air, needed to shake the overwhelming feeling of suffocation that always came after one of his nightmares. He pulled his black robes over his pajamas and quietly snuck out into the hallway.

 

After hiding behind a barrel for a few moments as a house elf laden with pastries tottered by, Philip began his stroll through the corridors, lighting his way with the tip of his wand. The grandeur of the castle’s architecture reminded him of Ilvermorny, but the walls full of snoring paintings and the general mismatched feel of everything was uniquely Hogwarts. Philip decided to watch the sunrise, and made his way up some staircases until he reached a clock tower, the great mechanical workings of the clock ticking and whirring behind a large window. The grounds of Hogwarts were beautiful, the first pink rays of sunlight illuminating the green fields and the vast forest beyond them. Philip smiled serenely and then started when he heard a thump, the crashing of a lantern, and a muffled “Shit.” He jerked around to see Lukas at the door, fumbling around for the pieces of his broken lantern.

 

“Lukas?” Philip laughed incredulously, his heart still racing from the surprise. “What are you doing up?”

 

“I wake up early every day, I work on a farm!” Lukas replied defensively. Lantern pieces gathered, he came to lean by the window next to Philip. “What are you doing up?” He asked, quieter now.

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Philip shrugged. “Nightmare.”

 

Lukas looked sympathetic and casually placed a hand on Philip’s shoulder, making no indication of moving it. That was a typical companionable gesture for a friend to make, right? Philip ignored the little jolts of pleasure the contact sent up his spine.

 

“When I was little, really little, my mom used to take me out early in the morning to watch the sunrise,” Lukas said wistfully. “She’s dead now, I barely remember her, but sometimes when I can’t sleep I go outside to watch it, and it’s–it’s almost like she’s there with me.” Philip turned and saw Lukas wasn’t watching the sunrise at all, but was watching him, gauging his reaction with nervous eyes and a faint blush on his cheeks.

 

He still hadn’t removed his hand from Philip’s shoulder.

 

“That’s beautiful,” Philip murmured softly. “I’m sorry about your mom. My mom used to take me out to watch the stars. Says she can see the future in them,” he added, snorting.

 

“And you don’t believe her?” Lukas asked, moving closer. Their faces were inches apart, Philip noticed with a hitched breath, close enough for him to notice the other boy’s hair smelled of lemons and hay. _This,_ this proximity, at least, couldn’t just be normal friendliness.

 

“...I don’t know, do you?” Philip whispered the last words, Lukas only able to hear them because he was so close. If he just leaned forward, two, three more inches…

 

Lukas turned away abruptly, hair falling to cover his face as he again gathered the lantern fragments in his hands. “We, uh, we should really get back to our dorms. I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to be up here, right? I’ll, uh, I’ll see you at classes, maybe.”

  
And with that, he whisked out the door as if he had never been there to begin with, leaving Philip with the growing pink sunrise and the faint smell of lemons in the dim, dusty light of the clock tower.


	7. Unstable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, readers, now enjoy this angst! Lukas is having a bit of trouble with his wand...no pun intended. And thanks for all the kudos, it really means a lot to me <3

Lukas swiftly walked away from the clock tower and back to the Slytherin dungeon, his heart racing as he cursed under his breath. What had he been thinking, approaching Philip like that? What had he been thinking leaning in, close enough to feel Philip’s warm breath on his skin, to see in full detail his deep, utterly _gorgeous_ brown eyes under sensitive dark lashes.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed loudly, then apologized to a passing portrait as it angrily shushed him. He had no reason to be getting so worked up over some guy’s freaking _eyes._

 

Maybe this was perfectly normal behavior. It wasn’t so strange to notice a fellow male had objectively beautiful eyes, was it? Or perfect creamy skin? Or silky dark hair that curled tantalizingly behind perfect ears and made him want to tangle his hands in it to see just how soft it really–

 

“ _Fuck.”_ Lukas had had this conversation with himself back at Red Hook. Nobody wanted him to be _that guy._ His father would kill him if he found out...not that he wouldn’t kill him on sight anyways, what with Lukas being a wizard and everything now.

 

But most of all, Lukas himself didn’t want to be _that guy_ , not if it meant getting mercilessly bullied, just as he’d seen the flamboyant skinny kid at Red Hook get tortured and tormented every day by Lukas’s friends until he stopped showing up to school altogether. And here at Hogwarts, the bullies had magic. Lukas didn’t even want to think about what would happen if they found out he was a... _you know_ , on top of everything else.

 

So Lukas decided he wouldn’t be that guy. They would never know, he would never let them know; it was a simple task. With that new revelation, he hurried back to the dungeon, trying to shake the image of chocolate brown eyes and silky hair out of his mind before the inhabitants of the castle began to wake up.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Philip yawned and sank further into his seat, not processing a word Kamila was saying at the front of the room. He knew he should make an effort to be more alert on his first day of school, but the Potions classroom was dark, and he was so tired, and he couldn’t quite shake the image of a certain pair of deep blue eyes…

 

“Psst, Philip, don’t fall asleep,” Tamsin Belby hissed, shaking his shoulder. “Merlin’s beard, Philip, it’s only the first day!” Tamsin chuckled at him under her breath. Philip allowed himself a wan smile.

 

“Eh, I learned this all last year anyways,” he shrugged, before taking on a pompous, haughty air. “Now if you’d excuse me, I have some sleep to catch up on and you’re ruining my slumber.”

 

“Great to see you’re starting the year off strong.”

 

“Always.”

 

After a refreshing nap in Potions class, Philip looked at his schedule and read “DADA–transfers.” Time for his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, as well as his first class with just Rose and Lukas. Philip ran a hand through his hair before climbing the stairs to the classroom.

 

When he arrived, Lukas and Rose were already sitting next to each other in front of Professor Kane’s desk. Philip locked eyes with Lukas as he entered, but Lukas quickly looked away.

 

“Ah, the Hufflepuff has arrived at last,” said Professor Kane in his eerie, soft baritone. “Welcome to remedial Defense Against the Dark Arts, Mr. Shea. Please take a seat.”

 

Philip took the empty seat next to Lukas, noticing how the blond boy refused to meet his eyes. _Typical_ , thought Philip. Typical to be scorned and cast aside just when he’d thought he was starting to make a friend, more than a friend, even. But Philip just sighed and resigned himself to the lesson, which turned out to be incredibly boring with Professor Kane simply telling them to read the textbook for the rest of the period. Philip found himself nodding off once again.

 

Just as they were about to leave, however, Philip caught the gaze of Lukas once more. This time, Lukas flashed an unguarded smile before realizing what he was doing and forcing his face back into neutrality. Perhaps Philip wasn’t being cast aside after all…?

 

“Coming to lunch, Lukas?” Rose asked, leaning in annoyingly close as she spoke into his ear.

 

“No, I, uh, I have a private Transfiguration session, sorry. I’ll see you later though, bye.” Rose looked disappointed when he left, leaving Philip in the dust as she strode off to the Great Hall. Not wanting to start an awkward conversation with Professor Kane, Philip followed.

 

As the week went on, Philip noticed Lukas got increasingly pale and drawn-out with each passing day. He rarely even saw him aside from the few classes they shared and during dinner, where Lukas would make valiant attempts to laugh with his Slytherin friends but mostly just stirred listlessly at his food. Philip himself had difficulty adjusting to the new atmosphere and lessons, but he could only imagine how much Lukas was struggling. Philip didn’t know where the two of them stood in terms of each other, but he decided to speak to Lukas and see how he was doing anyways. After all, it was only decent.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lukas had come to the conclusion that, despite his best efforts, he was just a really bad wizard.

 

It had started in his very first class at Hogwarts: Charms. “Just give it a twirl and say _Vermillious,”_ the squeaky old professor had said to Lukas and the first years in his class. Soon enough, green sparks were shooting out of the tips of every eleven year old’s wand, some with great, powerful showers of sparks and others with feeble glints of light. But by the end of the class, everyone had been able to do it...that is, everyone but Lukas. Despite his best wand twirling, his most determined incantations, Lukas’s wand remained an unresponsive stick of wood. After class Professor Flitwick had kindly said, “Keep practicing, dear boy, not everyone is a natural.” As if his words hadn’t stung even more than being bested by a bunch of eleven year olds.

 

Lukas had begun to despair that they had made a mistake and he wasn’t a wizard after all when, sitting on the toilet lid of the Slytherin lavatory angrily cursing at his wand, a freaking _fireball_ of green sparks came bursting out of his wand, rebounding against the bathroom stall and hitting him squarely in the face. Needless to say, Lukas took his first visit to the hospital wing that day.

 

But of course his magic didn’t decide then to become normal, oh no, it had to become “ _the most erratic and unpredictable spellcraft I’ve ever seen!”_ as stated by the excited Kamila after he showed her what had happened. In his private Transfiguration session with Headmistress McGonagall, instead of turning his teacup into a napkin as directed, he turned it into an enormous bear skin rug that flew around the classroom using its flapping skin as wings and gnashing its porcelain teeth. Lukas shuddered at the memory of McGonagall’s cold, unforgiving glare when he tried to apologize.

 

Even things that didn’t require tricky spellcraft at all somehow went wrong: a crystal ball cracked as soon as he entered the Divination classroom, the collection of prickly blue cacti started _screaming_ as soon as he entered Herbology, and his potion was going well until his wand started gushing out streams of red fire, causing his cauldron to heat up and explode the supposedly harmless calming draught in his face. That...that was his second visit to the hospital wing.

 

Lukas could have dealt with the hefty workload, but the hours of additional lessons combined with his constant struggle to gain a modicum of control over his magic was just too much; Lukas was exhausted. He needed to either learn how to use his blasted wand or give up and join the first years, because he didn’t think he could keep this up much longer.

 

Lukas shivered in the fall breeze on the courtyard as he trailed a pace behind his Slytherin classmates, too tired to join their conversation. They were on their way to History of Magic, which Lukas actually enjoyed if only for the sole reason that it didn’t require any actual magic. He felt a pleasant jolt in his chest when a familiar presence fell into step with his.

 

“Hey Lukas, long time no see,” Philip murmured with that half-moon smile and laughter in his stupid, perfect eyes. “How have you been? I’ve, ah, noticed you seem pretty busy.”

 

Lukas groaned and rubbed his eyes with his hands. “You have no idea,” he said. “Busy I can deal with, but having absolutely no control over anything I try to do? I’m just trying not to keep exploding things,” he laughed shakily.

 

“No control? Like over your magic?” Philip asked.

 

“Like not being able to do the simplest spells without blowing something up and getting yelled at by teachers _even though I practice every night_ and probably having about four hours of sleep this entire week.” Lukas felt his tone get whiny and pathetic, and Philip probably didn’t come to see him being a little bitch, but at this point he was just too tired to care.

 

“Oh jeez, that must be rough,” Philip said, genuinely sympathetic as always. He looked cute with his yellow and black striped Hufflepuff scarf fluttering around his neck. Lukas fought the urge to tuck it neatly back around his neck into his robes. “Hey, at least it means you have magic, right? Pretty powerful, too, from what it sounds like.”

 

Lukas appreciated the attempt to lift his spirits, but could only shrug a shoulder half heartedly. “Yeah, but it doesn’t do me much good if it only helps me make my porridge explode.” Lukas’s Slytherin companions had begun to notice their conversation, Barnabus looking back at the pair with raised eyebrows and the beginnings of a sneer. Lukas felt his face heat up and made sure there was appropriate distance between him and the Hufflepuff. Said Hufflepuff didn’t notice the change in body language, and continued to give Lukas _that_ look. The one that was all compassion and concerned dark brows and melting chocolate eyes.

 

“Can I help in any way? I could tutor you in the library, or anywhere, after dinners.” In retrospect, extra lessons were the last thing Lukas needed on top all his work, but in that moment he was desperate for any help he could get...and maybe just a bit desperate for something else, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

 

“Yeah, I–yeah, that’d be great. Library, after dinner?” The Slytherins were now waiting at the end of the courtyard, gaping with open astonishment at Lukas’s apparent friendship with a Hufflepuff.

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” Philip was grinning now, a full-toothed smile.

  
Lukas hurried back to his companions and ignored the unbidden flush of excitement rising to his face.


	8. Gravity

Philip watched Lukas’s eyebrows grow more and more tense and contorted as he attempted levitate the feather on the desk in front of them.

 

“ _Wingardium Leviosa,”_ Lukas chanted intently, his wand movements accurate, his pronunciation perfect. Philip leaned forward on his seat. _This is gonna be the one,_ he thought. _It can’t go wrong now._

 

Sure enough, the feather gave a little twitch, then a little wiggle as it rose an inch, two inches off the table, and then–

 

 _Boom._ The feather exploded in a cloud of dust in their faces.

 

“It was–” Philip choked on feather dust and paused to cough. “It was an improvement, at least. It floated a little before exploding this time!” He clapped Lukas on the back, half in encouragement and half to aid the other boy in expelling feather from his lungs. Lukas threw his wand down onto the desk and groaned.

 

“Admit it, I’m hopeless. This is the third tutoring session you’ve tried to give me and I’m still just exploding things in your face.”

 

“No, you’re _not_ hopeless.” Lukas still looked like a sad, defeated puppy so Philip continued, “You’ve definitely improved! And you’re not a bad wizard either–if you were you’d have difficulty making _anything_ happen with your wand.” Philip wasn’t lying; Lukas clearly had a lot of power behind his spells, but he just had difficulty channeling it. It was really all kind of strange–Philip had never heard of any witch or wizard with such unpredictable spellwork.

 

Lukas sighed. “Well, thanks for trying to help me. I think I’m done for the day, there’s no way I’m gonna make any more progress at this point.” He yawned, but made no indication of leaving the empty classroom, Philip noticed.

 

“Ok,” said Philip. “Hey, wanna see something cool Helen and Gabe sent in the mail?” Philip pulled out his new camera and showed it to Lukas, who examined it with interest.

 

“Cool...what is it?”

 

“It’s a Polaroid camera, stupid. Don’t No-Maj’s have cameras too?”

 

“Well yeah, but most people just use their phones. Aren’t Polaroids from like, the 1800s?”

 

Philip just shook his head in despair and aimed the lens at Lukas, who immediately covered his face.

 

“No, dude, no.”

 

_Snap._

 

“...That’s a classic.” Lukas grabbed the photo from the slot. “What do I do, shake it or something?” Philip immediately snatched the photo back.

 

“No, that’s how you ruin it! You just have to sit here and watch it develop.” Philip gazed fondly at the Polaroid, a moving shape just beginning to make itself clear amidst the murkiness. He stole a glance at the other boy, noticing Lukas was staring intently at _him_ , rather than the developing photo. They were already sitting hip to hip in front of the desk; if he just moved a little closer…

 

“What, are we just gonna sit here like one, two, thr–”

 

“Shut up,” Philip snorted. Lukas always did know how to ruin a perfect moment. And yet Philip always found himself gravitating back towards the foolish, perfect, and utterly oblivious boy. It must be in his nature to always put himself on the path towards destruction.

 

The Polaroid gradually revealed itself, showing a picture of Lukas waving his tiny arms in indignation and flashing his tiny careless grin at the camera.

 

“Wow, it moves!” Lukas leaned over to peer at the picture, his blond head almost touching Philip’s. “Sweet.”

 

Suddenly Lukas looked up at the clock in the front of the room. “Aw crap, we should get back to our dorms. The teachers already hate me, they’d murder me if I broke curfew.” He began gathering his belongings.

 

“Ok. Same time Monday?” At this, Lukas rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish.

 

“Uh, about that…” Lukas shifted side to side on his feet. “My friends are kind of, um, suspicious about why we’re hanging out so much. And I mean, I don’t want to stop these lessons, but you know, I’m a Slytherin, you’re a Hufflepuff…”

 

Philip had a feeling him being a Hufflepuff wasn’t the only thing bothering Lukas’s house mates.

 

“Ok...so what do you want to do?”

 

“What do I want to do?” Lukas apparently hadn’t thought this far ahead, and bit his lip in thought. “Hey, what if we met at like midnight? We could sneak into the empty room in the library, right?”

 

Was Lukas seriously suggesting to break curfew and sneak around for the sole purpose of having tutoring sessions with Philip? _I must be going crazy,_ Philip thought.

 

“Ok, sounds great.” The words slipped unbidden out of his mouth; he was definitely going crazy.

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Of course. See you Monday.”

 

Lukas’s face grew into a delighted grin as he hurried out of the room, briefly twisting around to wave before stumbling over a desk. Philip laughed and packed his own bag. Lukas had forgotten to take the Polaroid with him, but was already gone. Philip pocketed it and made his own way out the door. With the picture in his pocket and plans set for Monday, Philip couldn’t help a grin from spreading across his face.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lukas sat in a fancy green leather armchair in the Slytherin common room with his roommates, listening to Barnabus’s smooth drawl as he told another story about his summer escapades in Romania. Lukas was tuning it out, but all his stories were pretty much the same anyways: travel to exotic location with rich parents, meet famous dark wizards, generally be a dick to muggles. Horatio Sayre was eagerly listening to every word like a lovestruck squirrel, and Alfie Flint was sitting back with his arms crossed, silent and unreadable as usual. But Lukas had his mind on other things, namely a certain pair of deep brown eyes, and was absently tossing his watch from one hand to the other.

 

“Waldenbeck, are you listening at all?” Barnabus asked in an annoyed voice.

 

“Huh? Yeah, of course, you were just telling us about the famous dark wizard you met in Romania and all the stupid muggles you tricked.”

 

“It was Algernon the Evil, you fool.” But Barnabus seemed appeased, and continued with his story. Lukas continued to flip his watch from palm to palm and daydream about beautiful Philip. _Objectively_ beautiful Philip. There was nothing weird about that...right?

 

At noon, the Slytherins got up to go to lunch, but Alfie Flint excused himself with a tap on Barnabus’s shoulder and a sort of _I’m going to leave, go on without me_ gesture. He really wasn’t much of a talker.

 

“Are you going to go flying already?” Barnabus asked incredulously. “It’s not even Quidditch season yet.” Alfie shrugged by way of response and left the room.

 

“Wait, flying?” Lukas asked Barnabus. “He does Quidditch?”

 

“Yes, you dimwit, what planet are you from?” Lukas ignored the abuse and instead ran after Alfie, leaving Barnabus and Horatio to complain in the corridor.

 

Lukas came to a stop when he reached the side of the tall, broad-shouldered boy. Alfie glanced sideways at him but said nothing.

 

“Hey, Alfie, I know we don’t really talk much, but I’ve heard a lot Quidditch and I, uh, didn’t know you played.” Alfie continued to look straight ahead as he walked.

 

“I used to do motorcross back home. Riding motorcycles, I mean. It’s a muggle thing, but I always thought it’s the closest to real flying I could ever get.” He was rambling, he knew it, but he was desperate.

 

“If you’d let me come with you, I could just watch, you don’t even have to teach me anything, and just pretend I’m not there like you, ah, usually do. I just–”

 

Alfie stopped him with an arm to his chest, turning his head to look at him with...was he smiling?

 

“Mate, please shut up,” said Alfie in a deep, steady voice. With a voice like that he should really talk more often, Lukas thought. But then again, his teeth did look pretty nasty, so maybe that’s why he never spoke.

 

Alfie beckoned Lukas with an exasperated gesture. “Come on, I’ll teach you.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lukas whooped with wild abandon as he soared through the crisp, clear air over the Quidditch field. He was flying, really _flying_ , watching the stadium, the goal hoops, and the great sprawling castle all grow smaller as he shot upwards. He felt powerful, like a hawk in the sky, like none of the worries of the world below could touch him. He felt exhilarated, elated, _free._ He felt...a bit dizzy, to be honest. It was probably time to get to a lower altitude before he passed out from lack of oxygen.

 

Lukas transferred his weight into the front of the broomstick, pulling him into a steep dive. _Man, motorcross has nothing on this_ , he thought, feeling the wind blow harshly past his face as the ground came rushing closer.

 

 _Hm, maybe I should have learned how to actually pull out of a dive,_ Lukas thought with a touch of panic. _The ground is looking awfully close–_

 

“Lean back! Lean back!” Lukas heard Alfie shouting at him distantly. Lukas was a few yards from the ground, he gripped the handle of his broomstick and _leaned_ and–

 

He swooped upwards once again, flying at an easier pace and letting out the breath he had been holding in an awestruck huff of laughter. “ _Savage,”_

 

“You’re a natural,” Alfie said, after swooping up to fly next to him and grinning a mouthful of large, crooked teeth. He looked a bit like a very suave and dashing troll, as graceful and carefree in the air as he was grim on the surface, Lukas noticed. “Are you sure you’ve never flown a broomstick before?”

 

“No, never, just my motorcycle.” It wasn’t fair, really; he’d spent hours and hours practicing motorcross just to get those brief seconds of air time in a jump, and now on a broomstick he could fly with no effort at all.

 

“Well Quidditch tryouts are in a few weeks, I expect to see you there,” said Alfie. “We’re short a chaser.” Then he shot off towards the other end of the field, swooping and dipping and flying tight loops. Never one to back down from a challenge, Lukas followed.

 

Hours later, when the sun had set and Lukas had returned his borrowed broomstick to the broom shed, he walked towards the Great Hall for dinner, battered and bruised and the happiest he had felt in years. He couldn’t wait to tell Philip about his day, and couldn’t bring himself to care about what his classmates would think. _Heck, I don’t even care if I fail school, as long as I can continue to fly._

 

“Mr. Waldenbeck?”

 

Lukas stopped in his tracks as Headmistress McGonagall approached, looking rather severe in her high collared green robes. “I have a letter that was delivered by muggle mail, which is why it wasn’t sent directly to you.” She handed it over coldly, before a corner of her mouth turned upwards in what, by her standards, was a jolly grin. “And that was some excellent flying I saw out there.” She was gone with a swish of her robes before Lukas could reply. But the warmth in his stomach from the praise quickly turned to cold stone as he read the return address on the letter.

  
_From Bo Waldenbeck._


	9. Snake in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheh the drama begins

_Lukas,_

_I don’t know what you think you’re doing prancing around in England, but this has gone on long enough. It’s time for you to come home and work on the farm, where you belong. It’s almost time for the turkey shoot. Your sponsors have been calling and I’ve lied to them for you. I know we haven’t always communicated that well, but that shouldn’t make you throw away your future and make up this wizard crap just to spite me. I didn’t raise you like that._

_Bo_

 

Lukas watched intently as Philip read the letter over in the darkness. As soon as Lukas had gotten the letter from the headmistress, he skipped dinner and went to his dormitory alone to read it. Now, after curfew, he and Philip sat alone in the dark study room by the library.

 

“Wow,” Philip murmured after finishing the letter. “He sounds...totally ignorant.”

 

“I would have gone with asshole or piece of shit, but yeah, that’s a pretty accurate way to put it.” Lukas took the letter from Philip’s hands and neatly tore it in half.

 

“He really thinks you’re just pretending to be a wizard?

 

“Apparently. I don’t know, probably not, but he’s angry and this is just his way of taking it out on me,” Lukas spat out bitterly. “I never was good enough for him.” Lukas felt his voice break at the last words and he cursed internally as he felt hot tears forming behind his eyes. He’d told himself he wouldn’t cry, not in front of Philip.

 

“Sounds like you’re too good for him,” Philip said kindly, placing a warm hand on Lukas’s arm. _Damn it, Philip. The things you say._

 

“Thanks,” said Lukas, trying for a shaky smile. “I guess I just gotta forget about it. This is my life now, nothing’s going to change that.” Philip nodded, looking Lukas in the eye with kindness, with _understanding._ As if he genuinely understood what Lukas was feeling and was there to support him.

 

They were very close, sitting on the edge of the desk together. Far too close. Lukas could feel Philip breathing, could smell the faint sweetness of his shampoo. Lukas watched his dark eyes, watched them flutter downwards and then back up again to stare into his own; Philip’s breath hitched, he leaned in imperceptibly–

 

“The hell are you doing?” Lukas slapped Philip’s face aside, harder than he intended.

 

What had Philip been thinking? This was wrong, this was _sick._

 

“N–nothing, I’m not…” Philip stared downwards, biting his lip as his face grew flushed in the darkness. “I’m gonna go,” he said abruptly, standing up to leave.

 

“No!” Lukas said, louder than he intended. He grabbed Philip’s arm, making sure he couldn’t leave. “No, just–just sit down. Please.”

 

This wasn't how he was supposed to feel. He wasn't supposed to be _that guy_ , he wasn't supposed to like Philip so much it ached. But with Philip sitting there, all pale cheekbones in the darkness and downcast molten chocolate eyes under feathery lashes, _fuck,_ but Lukas could care less about being _that guy_.

 

Before he could think too hard about it, Lukas leaned in and kissed Philip on the lips.

 

Oh. _Oh. So this is what it's supposed to feel like,_ Lukas thought as, after a moment of surprise, Philip began to respond and _kiss back,_ sending thrilling shivers down Lukas’s spine. Lukas had kissed girls before, hadn't even minded it all that much, but it was nothing like this dizzying, breathtaking, indescribable pleasure.

 

Philip reached up and twined his hands in Lukas’s hair, causing Lukas to moan breathlessly and pull the other boy closer, flush against his body. He cupped a hand on Philip’s neck underneath soft curls of hair, the other arm wrapping around his back in an almost desperate attempt to pull him closer and feel his whole body against him, feel more.

 

And then, when he thought it couldn't get any better, Philip parted his lips under the kiss, letting Lukas into his mouth to _taste_ him. Lukas moaned loudly this time at the hot, wet heat of it as their tongues connected. Philip tasted like the tea British people were so fond of, Lukas thought wryly in the back of his mind. Tangy, dark, and hot, but touched with honey sweetness.

 

 _Fuck,_ thought Lukas. _This isn't supposed to be happening._

 

But it was happening and, with Philip’s mouth moving against his as he tangled his fingers in his hair, Lukas decided he didn't mind being _that guy_ , if only for this night.

 

He pulled back from the kiss regretfully, breathing hard and keeping his hands wound tightly around the other boy. Philip was panting as well, eyes wide and dark in the dim moonlight, inches from Lukas's face.

 

“No one will know about this,” Lukas hoarsely whispered. “Because you're not going to tell them.”

 

Philip stared at him for a moment and then nodded, conveying his trust and understanding even as he pulled Lukas's face towards him and brought their mouths together again.

 

 _Hot, sultry, intoxicating desire._ Lukas had had…dreams before, but they usually consisted of kissing a nameless, faceless man, ending with a wet heat between his thighs; it had nothing on this. And this, _this_ suddenly wasn't enough. He wanted to feel every part of Philip, to taste all of him until he was writhing beneath him. He fumbled with the hem of the other boy’s T-shirt before sliding his hand up the smooth, hot skin of his side, reveling in Philip's breathless moans at the contact. Philip pulled back for a moment to pull his shirt off all the way before surging back to kiss Lukas and cup his jaw. The sudden expanse of smooth, hot skin before him sent pools of heat to Lukas’s lower abdomen. Philip twisted from where they were sitting side by side to hook a leg over Lukas’s; Lukas grabbed his thigh almost roughly, pulling him fully onto his lap, and—

 

“Shit, I think someone's coming,” Lukas panted, shoving Philip off of him as panic coursed through his veins. “Quick, hide!”

 

They scrambled under the desk just as the door to the study room opened and footsteps walked to stand by the fireplace. _He’s gonna find us,_ thought Lukas panickedly. Philip was shirtless and they were pressed together tightly underneath the desk–It didn’t take a genius to figure out what they had been doing.

 

But the footsteps remained where they were, and instead they heard a _whoosh_ as the stranger started a fire. _Who comes to the library at one AM to start a fire?_ A rustling sound, and then the fire turned green _._

 

“Mistress,” said a soft baritone voice. Lukas knew that voice…” _Professor Kane?_ ” he mouthed at Philip. Philip looked equally perplexed.

 

“Hello Ryan,” a sultry, low-pitched woman’s voice replied in an American accent. Her voice seemed to be emanating from the fireplace. “Have you found the instrument?” _What?_

 

“Not yet, mistress, but I think I’m getting close,” Professor Kane replied.

 

“Close? Either you have it or you don’t, there’s no such thing as _close.”_

 

 _“_ Well you haven’t exactly given me much to go on,” Kane retorted angrily. “‘Just look for an artifact giving off strong magical signals?’ You’re not making my life easy.” Kane was pacing the room now, his footsteps coming painfully close to the desk Lukas and Philip were huddled under. Philip grabbed Lukas’s hand in a death grip.

 

The woman in the fireplace laughed, a high-pitched, fluttery, _dangerous_ laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry, my poor, dear Ryan, is your life _difficult?_ Are you _stressed_ because I’m working you too hard? Well listen here, you lackwit. _You’re_ replaceable; I just need you to find the damned instrument so I can do the real magic without being detected by the magical congress. You’re in a school full of dimwitted teenagers– _kill_ them if you have to. Or I’ll find someone else to do it.” With that, the woman left with a _whoosh_ and the fire returned to a normal color.

 

Kane swore loudly and kicked a chair close to them. Lukas could see the laces on his shoes, he was that close. Philip gripped Lukas’s hand tighter and buried his head in his shoulder. The footsteps came to a stop and Lukas squeezed his eyes shut, not daring to breathe.

 

But then Kane muttered something unintelligible, extinguished the fire with a flick of his wand, and stomped out the door.

 

It was a few minutes before either of the boys dared to breathe again. Lukas extricated his hand from Philip’s rigid grip and rubbed his fingers to get the feeling back in them.

 

“Instrument?” Philip whispered, his face pale. Lukas shook his head wordlessly.

 

“No idea. Sounds like some kind of bad fantasy drama on Freeform,” said Lukas. “Never mind, it’s a muggle thing,” he added at Philip’s confused expression.

 

“We should tell McGonagall,” Philip said, biting his lip in worry. “That sounded serious, the lady told him to _kill_ people.”

 

“What? No, I’m sure it was an exaggeration. Besides, if we tell McGonagall we’ll get in trouble for breaking curfew!” _And I’d have to explain what we were doing in the library at one in the morning. “_ I’m sure Kane will find his instrument thingy eventually and return to America, and sure, he’ll do some shady-ass magic with that woman, but we can just mind our own business.” Lukas hesitated, then placed a kiss on Philip’s temple for good measure. “It’ll be fine, really.”

 

Philip still looked unsure so Lukas pulled him into a hug, burying his nose into his Philip’s dark curls.

 

_It’ll be fine, really._

  
Lukas almost believed it himself.


	10. Silent Treatment

Philip had come to the conclusion that, despite both the incredibly hot makeout session and the traumatic, possibly near-death experience they had shared, Lukas was ignoring him.

 

The day after the incident in the library Philip gave a smile as he passed the other boy in the corridor, but Lukas responded by avoiding eye contact and guffawing too loudly at something his slimy Slytherin pal had said.

 

And then in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Philip had tried to make meaningful eye contact due to the fact that they were in a classroom with a potential _murderer_ , but no, Lukas decided to sit as far away from Philip as possible and talk to Rose instead, leaving Philip to warily keep an eye on Professor Kane.

 

Philip didn’t even see him at mealtimes anymore, as Lukas was busy flying all the time. He’d rushed in to Herbology late, disheveled and sweaty with that careless, innocent puppy grin on his face and charmingly explained to the teacher that _Sorry, Professor, I had Quidditch._ Philip was happy he’d found a passion, and, ok, he was happy to be blessed with the view of a sweaty, disheveled Lukas, but...that didn't mean he had to _ignore_ him.

 

Philip was well practiced in dealing with rejection, but not when it came to perfect and beautiful blond boys that were quite obviously interested in him as well (if the barely-restrained moans and eagerly roving hands in the dark study room had been any indication of that). He supposed he understood Lukas’s fears to some extent, as Philip was now aware of the cruel and likely homophobic father as well as the questionable Slytherin friendships. But this silent treatment? It had to end, Philip decided. _If we could just talk, I can show him that the wizarding world is different–it doesn’t have to be this way._

 

“Hey, you’re supposed to be dicing it, not grinding it to a paste,” Tamsin’s voice cut through his thoughts and brought him back to the reality of the Potions dungeon, where they were supposed to be making a pepperup potion.

 

“Oops, sorry,” Philip said with surprise, looking down at the mangled root he had angrily been chopping to tiny pieces. Tamsin just giggled.

 

“Seriously, what’s gotten into you lately? You’ve been silent all day.” Tamsin drew her long yellow hair into a ponytail before scraping Philip’s mangled root into the cauldron.

 

“Oh, you know…” Philip bit his lip, not wanting to expose Lukas behind his back. “Just busy.”

 

“Is that so?” Tamsin gave him a sly look. “Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with a certain Slytherin boy?”

 

“What? How did you…?”

 

“I’m a seer, of course.” Tamsin tapped her forehead knowingly. Philip blinked. “No, stupid, of course I’m not a seer! But I don’t have to be one to notice you staring at the Slytherin table like a stalker every meal time and making moony eyes at Lukas Waldenbeck whenever you–”

 

“Shh,” Philip hushed her. “Ok, you’re right, but this has to stay between us. Lukas and I...well, yeah, I like him, and last night we–we kissed, but basically he has a homophobic No-Maj father and cares way too much about what his friends think of him, so now he’s ignoring me.” Philip tried not to sound petulant.

 

“Oh wow, that’s more drama than I’d expected.” Tamsin stirred their potion thoughtfully. “Well, I guess you just have to go talk to him, then.” She patted him on the shoulder kindly. “After all, we can’t have anyone ignoring _Philip Shea,_ fearful and almighty master of Potions, champion of all who sleep in class.”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Philip laughed.

 

But after class, Philip decided to take her advice in hand, and strode off to the courtyard where he knew Lukas would be waiting for his Transfiguration lesson. He found him on the edge of the courtyard, sitting on a bench looking pale and beautiful as usual.

 

Holding hands with Rose.

 

Philip felt his body go numb as he tried to process the scene before him. Lukas was cooly reclining on the bench with Rose plastered against his side, giggling and cooing like some sort of sick, twisted feline. Lukas was holding her hand casually, the same hand that Philip had gripped so desperately the previous night in the darkness under the desk as they squeezed their eyes shut and didn’t dare to breathe. And Lukas’s face was in a smirk, laughing confidently in a way Philip knew was _fake,_ after seeing that same face contorted by fear and shame. And Lukas’s _eyes–_

 

Lukas’s eyes flicked across the courtyard, going wide and still as they met Philip’s. The Slytherin first met his gaze with hostility, then bit his lip uncomfortably and broke eye contact with an expression of guilt, as Philip stared back squarely. _So that’s how you want to play it, Lukas._

 

With his head held high, Philip continued to stare Lukas down, daring him to meet his gaze as he strode towards him to leave the courtyard. As he passed the bench, he heard Rose say,

 

“Jeez, Lukas, why does that freak stare at you all the time?” Lukas replied with a nervous laugh.

 

“I don’t know, he’s just obsessed with me, I guess.”

 

Philip continued to stride down the corridor, unable to stop hot tears of humiliation from gliding down his face.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Philip leaned on the wall in the entrance to the Quidditch field, chewing on his lip as he watched the two Slytherins swoop up and down in the pink, fading sunlight. The tall, troll-like one, (Flint?) was hovering by the three tall goalposts as Lukas sped towards him with a quaffle in his hand.

 

“Now, shoot now!” Philip could faintly hear the taller Slytherin bellow.

 

Lukas drew his arm back on his broom and hurled the quaffle at the leftmost goal hoop, where Flint swiftly dove down to easily intercept it. A few minutes later, after they dismounted and were walking towards the tunnel where Philip was standing, Philip heard a snippet of their conversation.

 

“You ok mate? You seem a bit out of it today,” the larger Slytherin said to Lukas.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m just...distracted, that’s all.”

 

Philip crossed his arms and put on his best indifferent expression as the Slytherins approached. Flint simply passed by wordlessly as he saw him, his expression giving away none of his emotions. Lukas, however, stopped in his tracks.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lukas hissed, his eyes wide with panic.

 

“I came to see _you,_ as it turns out,” Philip said loudly, gaining a thrill of satisfaction as Lukas frantically hushed him and looked fearfully at Flint’s retreating back.

 

“You–Jesus, come on, follow me.” Lukas led Philip back through the Quidditch field and out a different entrance, one that led to the outside grounds. After nervously glancing around to check for onlookers, Lukas pulled him into a shabby old broomshed.

 

The broomshed was an cramped, dusty wooden structure that was, well, full of brooms. Philip leaned against the wall and watched Lukas pace around, rubbing his hands through his hair.

 

“What were you thinking, coming to watch me fly?” Lukas asked angrily. “Anyone could have been watching us!”

 

“Watching us do what, exactly? Make out? It comes to my understanding that _you_ have a _girlfriend.”_ Philip said the last words with as much spite as he could muster. Lukas came to a halt in the middle of the shed, dark brows coming together in a tangle of conflicting emotions.

 

“Fuck,” said Lukas, eloquently. “You know I didn’t–I mean, my friends were getting suspicious and–and I _had_ to.” Philip raised his eyebrows.

 

“Your friends were suspicious of us hanging out so you decided to get a girlfriend? Did what happened last night mean _anything_ to you at all?

 

“Of course it meant things to me! But just, Barnabus was making jokes, and Rose was interested anyways, and, I mean, she’s not bad–”

 

“What every girlfriend wants to hear,” Philip snorted.

 

“Rose doesn’t matter to me!” Lukas blurted out, loud and pleading in the quiet shed. “And–and I may have to pretend for a while, but it’s only so _we_ can keep...hanging out.” His face was suddenly very close to Philip’s, and he spoke again, his tone softer this time. “I don’t want Rose, I want _you,_ idiot.”

 

And Philip knew he shouldn’t feel flutters in his stomach from those words, knew he should leave then and there and let Lukas work out his problems, but with the taller boy clutching his shoulders as he stared pleadingly with wide blue eyes, his face flushed from both exercise and earnestness, Philip couldn’t have moved if he tried.

 

“I…”

 

Philip let out a startled gasp as Lukas swiftly leaned in and captured Philip’s mouth, _hungrily._ Philip moaned and arched up into the kiss, winding his hands around Lukas’s neck as the other boy pushed closer, pressing him against the wall. One hand splayed on Philip’s chest, keeping him firmly in place, while the other rubbed frantic, needy caresses down Philip’s side. Philip ran his hands from Lukas’s neck down to his lower back, pulling the other boy closer–

 

“ _Fuck,”_ Lukas gasped into Philip’s neck as their hips rocked together, sending a rush of heat spiraling through Philip’s body. _Merlin, yes, please,_ Philip thought hazily as Lukas recaptured his mouth and bucked his hips into Philip’s again, _hard._ Tight, hot, dizzying heat; Lukas groaned almost desperately as he pinned Philip to the wall and twined their tongues together. Everything else seemed to have fallen away, and Philip could only kiss, feel, _grind_ against Lukas in desperation. Lukas grabbed the back of Philip’s thigh and roughly yanked him flush against him, and _Merlin’s beard,_ Philip could feel Lukas’s hard bulge against his through their robes. Lukas moaned, low and utterly wrecked, and Philip wanted nothing more than to stay there pinned against Lukas’s hot, hard body, but– _fuck, I can’t just stay here like some pathetic boytoy._

 

“No!” Philip shouted forcefully as Lukas rutted into his hips. “No, no, _no,”_ he gasped, pushing Lukas away from him.

 

Lukas panted heavily, flushes of splotched red staining high on his normally pale cheekbones. “What?” he asked hoarsely, his eyes dark with lust and confusion.

  


“I can’t do this,” Philip declared, adjusting his robes with as much dignity as he could muster. “I’m not gonna be your _little bitch._ You’ve got Rose for that.”

 

“What are you–”

 

Philip cut him off with an incredulous laugh. “Seriously? You avoid me all day, like I’m some kind of freak, and then you want to fool around? No.” Philip said it firmly this time. “No, you gotta decide.”

  
And with that, Philip left Lukas where he stood gaping and breathing heavily in the broomshed, and strode back towards the castle before he could change his mind and finish what they had started.


	11. Breath of Flowers

He extended his wand intently, arm shaking with effort as he stared down the Herbology textbook that was lying a few yards in front of him and refusing to move. He focused all of his energy on the book, feeling tendrils of magic begin to extend from his wand, and the book quivered a bit, it began to rise, and–

 

“Hey Lukas.”

 

_ Boom. _ The book gave a sputtering noise and fell onto the ground before inching away like some sort of demented paper earthworm as Rose came up behind Lukas and wrapped her arms around his abdomen.

 

“H-hey, Rose,” Lukas said in a high-pitched voice as he reflexively caught her hands in a death-grip before remembering, oh right, this was his girlfriend, she was allowed to place her hands intimately on his abdomen. He watched the textbook as it continued to inch away, before hitting the wall of the classroom and falling on its side in a pathetic wheeze of defeat.  _ That has got to be some kind of a metaphor, _ Lukas thought.

 

Rose removed her arms from Lukas’s waist and looked at the defeated textbook with an air of disgust. “Still haven’t figured out how to levitate things?” It was clearly a rhetorical question. Lukas hadn’t figured out how to do any kind of spell without unpredictable and often highly embarrassing results, and the whole school knew it. “Well luckily you have other talents,” she practically purred into his ear. 

 

“Yeah,” said Lukas, taking her small, delicate hand in his. Remembering larger, warmer hands that had rubbed up and down the length of his body in the broomshed, making spirals of heady, intoxicating heat course through his body as he gasped into the boy’s mouth– _ Stop it, _ Lukas told himself harshly.

 

“What?”  _ Oops, did I say that aloud? _

 

“Nothing. So, uh, Quidditch tryouts are tomorrow, wanna come watch?”

 

“Sure,” Rose smiled, a nice, pretty smile that lit up her usually bored and aloof features. Then she leaned up and kissed him, and he reciprocated and ran his hands down her long, curly hair. He breathed in her flowery scent, going through all the motions and wanting to like it, like her, so much. But he couldn’t.

 

All he felt was emptiness and a whole lot of guilt.

 

Later in the day, Lukas felt increasingly anxious as he trailed behind Barnabus, Horatio, and Alfie. He’d thought that by getting a girlfriend and making sure he and Philip kept secret, he would start to regain some control over his life. But instead he felt like everything was spiraling out of control.

 

In Defense Against the Dark Arts they had been practicing simple shield charms. When it came to Lukas’s turn, unsurprisingly his shield had backfired and knocked him down with a torrent of force. By now, Lukas was used to dealing with classroom humiliation, but what had hurt most was Philip’s laugh, the familiar soft tones cut with an overlying cruelty that was directed at  _ him. _

 

Lukas had only gotten with Rose so that his friends would respect him more and wouldn’t be so suspicious of he and Philip hanging out. Was that so hard for Philip to understand? 

 

And after class Professor Kane had pulled him aside to ask why he was struggling so much, fixing him with an eerie blank stare when Lukas had no explanation. If the humiliation wasn’t enough to ruin Lukas’s day, the reminder of  _ that night _ with Philip and Kane and the creepy lady in the fireplace certainly was.

 

Lukas sighed and rubbed his hands tiredly over his eyes. He was failing school, Quidditch tryouts were tomorrow, and now Philip was ignoring him on top of everything else.

 

“Oi, muggle boy, hurry up!” Barnabus sneered over his shoulder as Lukas fell behind. 

 

“Coming,” Lukas said apologetically, and hurried to catch up with his friends.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Philip chewed his lip angrily as he reclined on the patchwork quilt of his bed. It was lunchtime on a Saturday, so his dorm room was empty. Philip couldn’t bring himself to go pretend to be happy with his friends, not when the cause of his anger would be sitting there at the Slytherin table being molested by Rose. So instead he lay on his bed hunched in an angry ball of self-pity.

 

Lukas freaking Waldenbeck! Philip was undoubtedly angry at him, to the point where he’d laughed mockingly at his botched spell in the way he knew would hurt him most. But after the momentary thrill of revenge, Philip just felt...sad. Sad for his actions, sad for what he and Lukas could have become, and sad for Lukas’s total inability to forget the stigma and prejudices of his past life and just  _ be himself _ for once. Because in the rare, private moments when he wasn’t “Mr. Waldenbeck,” or “The muggle-born” and was just purely Lukas, he was...unlike anyone Philip had ever met. Philip willed himself not to pick up Lukas’s phone again, knowing the pictures he’d see would just make everything harder.

 

And then there was the matter of Professor Kane. Despite the stories he tried to tell himself writing Kane’s conversation off as a harmless encounter, Philip couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about the situation _. _ From the sinister commands of the woman to Kane’s oddly menacing demeanor itself, everything about it just seemed... _ wrong. _

 

“Ugh,” Philip said aloud to the empty dormitory. “I need a walk.”

 

Philip automatically made his way to the greenhouse, knowing the warmth and quiet of the place would calm him down. He still wasn’t used to the sheer amount of plant life in Hogwarts, a drastically different environment from the grey, industrialized streets back home. When he entered the sunlit room he immediately made his way to the bulbous, oddly fleshy plant in the corner:  _ Mimbulus Mimbletonia, _ the round-faced Herbology professor had excitedly told him when he caught Philip looking at it. The plant gave an weird little shiver as Philip stroked it fondly.

 

All of a sudden, a flash of movement in the adjacent greenhouse caught Philip’s eye. Moving closer, he saw that it was Kane, bending over a row of small red flowers. Philip crouched behind a large yellow shrub to get a closer look.

 

Kane appeared to be picking the petals off of the flowers and stuffing them into a small pouch, glancing around furtively every so often as if he was doing something wrong.  _ That’s weird,  _ thought Philip.  _ If he needed potion ingredients I’m sure he could have just asked Professor Longbottom.  _ Something was definitely off. 

 

But before Philip could look closer, Kane stuffed his pouch into a pocket and strode out the door as if nothing had happened. The whole thing happened so quickly Philip had no idea what to make of it. 

 

Later that night, after an afternoon of surreptitiously reading angsty Veela romance novels in the library (hey, what’s an internally conflicted and sexually frustrated sixteen year old supposed to do on a Saturday?), Philip returned to the Hufflepuff common room to find his house mates in an uncharacteristic state of silence. He went to Tamsin, who was standing off to the side with a shocked hand over her mouth.

 

“What’s going on?” he asked, worried.

 

“You haven’t heard? Tommy Patil–he p-poisoned himself _.”  _ Tamsin choked on the last words, her eyes wide and shocked. “He’s in the hospital wing now, but they don’t know if he’ll make it.”

 

“Merlin, that’s terrible.” Philip was shocked. Tommy Patil was a sixth year Gryffindor, and Philip didn’t know much about him other than he was a notoriously bad Quidditch player who shared Philip’s love of photography. “How did it happen?”

 

“They said he was trying to make a luck potion for Quidditch tryouts tomorrow, but obviously that’s a really tricky potion to make, so he must have botched the ingredients and now…God, how could he have been so  _ stupid? _ ”

 

_ You’re in a school full of dimwitted teenagers. Kill them if you have to. _

 

The words from the other night came flashing to the front of Philip’s mind. He felt his heart skip a beat as he remembered the image of Kane crouching furtively over the red flowers like he was afraid someone would see him. Philip suddenly felt numb all over, like he was drenched in cold ice. The common room was suffocating–he couldn’t breathe, he–

 

“Philip? Are you ok?” Tamsin’s voice came to him distantly, like she was speaking to him underwater.

 

“I, I–I need to go,” he heard himself say, and stumbled out the common room door.

 

He ran through the corridors in a panic, not knowing where his feet were taking him. His vision started to go black, and the walls closed in and his chest was too tight–he couldn’t  _ breathe, _ and–

 

He collided with a firm body that let out a wheezing “Oof” upon contact.

 

“Philip?” asked Lukas–of course it was Lukas, and Philip didn’t want to talk to Lukas but his firm grip on his arms were the only thing holding him up. “What’s going on, are you ok?”

 

“Lukas, I–Tommy Patil, he, he and  _ Kane–” _

 

_ “ _ Jesus, come on, you need to breathe.” Philip felt himself being pulled through a doorway and onto the ground as he desperately gasped for air in short, ragged pants. “Philip, calm down, it’s ok, I’m here.  _ Breathe.”  _ Lukas’s voice was soothing and his hand on his back was a steady, reassuring weight. Philip forced himself to slow down his breathing and try to calm his racing heart.  _ Count backwards from ten, _ his mother had always told him. Gradually, the world around him began to take shape. 

 

Lukas had pulled him into an empty classroom, and they were sitting side by side on the floor as Lukas rubbed gentle circles on Philip’s back. 

 

“What’s wrong?” asked Lukas again, his eyes soft and concerned in the fading light. Philip took a deep, shuddering breath.

 

“Did you hear about Tommy Patil?”

 

“Yeah, I heard he poisoned himself to try and get an advantage in the tryouts tomorrow.”

 

“That’s just it, I don’t think he poisoned himself. This afternoon I saw Kane in the greenhouse picking flowers–he was doing it really sneakily, like he didn’t want anyone to see and I think–I think he tried to kill Tommy, just like that lady in the fireplace suggested!” Lukas’s brows furrowed as he tried to process this.

 

“He killed Tommy, Lukas, and it’s our fault because we didn’t tell McGonagall!” Philip felt tears of guilt begin to well behind his eyes.

 

“Wait a minute, shh, we don’t know that.” Lukas placed steady hands on Philip’s shoulders as he tried to placate him. “First of all, Tommy’s not dead! There’s a very good chance he’ll make it! And you said you saw Kane picking flowers in the greenhouse? Maybe he just needed them for a regular potion and didn’t want to ask Longbottom, I don’t know. And if he looked suspicious, well, he’s just a creepy guy, you can’t exactly incriminate him for that.”

 

Philip bit his lip. Lukas had a point. “You really think so?”

 

“I don’t know, but it seems more likely than him murdering Tommy. Besides, Kane is supposedly looking for some powerful magical instrument, and it’s not like Tommy had anything like that.”

 

Philip sighed. “I guess you’re probably right. Still, I don’t trust Kane one bit.” 

 

“Yeah, that’s probably smart.” Lukas wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. Philip rested his head on his shoulder, breathing in the comforting scent of lemons and grass.

 

“We can go visit him in the hospital wing after this. Together,” Lukas added, with emphasis. Philip sucked in a surprised breath at the last word, looking up at Lukas’s eyes searchingly. Lukas’s gaze was steady, if a bit fearful.

 

“I’m sorry for being a dick, but it’s only because I care about you,” Lukas whispered, making Philip snort in spite of himself.

 

“If you’re going for an equal dick to caring about me ratio, you must care about me an awful lot,” Philip joked.

  
But Lukas didn’t answer and instead continued to look at him with deep blue eyes, his soft and unwavering gaze speaking a wordless promise. And in that moment, wrapped in the embrace of Lukas’s arms with the reassurance of safety and a glimmer of hope for the future, Philip thought maybe, just maybe everything could work out after all.


	12. Resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, readers! Sorry if this chapter is a bit rough–I have finals this week and my mind is not exactly in a coherent state heheh. But thanks for continuing to read my story!

“And did you _see_ that dive I did? I swear, the quaffle was like a foot off the ground but I just told myself _you're gonna dive for that ball, Lukas._ And it worked!”

 

“I know, I was there watching, remember?” Philip laughed as Lukas excitedly raved about the Quidditch tryouts of the previous day. Despite his better judgement, Philip couldn't help himself from attending yesterday's tryouts, watching Lukas as surreptitiously as possible beside Rose and the other Slytherins. “Congratulations, _chaser.”_

 

Lukas leaned backwards on his elbows on the grass as he relived the previous day with a dreamy grin. It was the first Hogsmeade weekend, so the school was fairly empty. Lukas had convinced him to come sit near the edge of the forest on the lakeside, on a patch of grass pretty much hidden from sight of the castle. Philip had tried to stay angry and remind him _he had a girlfriend,_ but, well, when it came to Lukas he was utterly hopeless. It was a bit pathetic, really.

 

“I still can't believe this is all happening sometimes.” Lukas gestured vaguely around him. “Magic, this school, Quidditch...did you know you can make a career out of Quidditch? I could be a professional one day!” Lukas put an arm behind his head and looked at the sky exuberantly. Philip gazed down at him from where he lay on his stomach. _Perfect, blue-eyed, sunlit beauty._

 

“I bet you will.” Philip smiled at Lukas’s excitement. “Hey, what's the story behind that watch?” He pointed at the old gold watch Lukas was absentmindedly fiddling with.

 

“Oh this?” Lukas looked at the watch with a wistful expression. “It's a gift from my dad, actually. It was originally from my mom—it supposedly kept her father and grandfather safe during wars and stuff. My dad gave it to me for a race, right before—before…”

 

“Yeah,” Philip said quietly. _Right before your magic was discovered and your father disowned you._

 

“Hey what about your mom? You never told me why you had to leave New York.”

 

Philip broke the gaze and played with the blades of grass under his fingers. Lukas shifted onto his side to look at him.

 

“My mom had–well she's a seer, or at least she thinks she is, so she's never been all that in touch with reality. And, I don't know, maybe she does have the sight because she has these _dreams_ that she never tells me about, but they're pretty horrible from what I can tell. And so she turns to drugs–opium mostly, but lots of alcohol too–and, well, you can probably see why the magical congress deemed her parenting unfit.” Philip tried for a shaky laugh.

 

“Man, I’m sorry.” Lukas tentatively reached out to pet Philip's hair.

 

“Eh, it’s probably for the best,” said Philip, moving away from the awkward petting. “Supposedly she's getting help now, so that's good.”

 

“Yeah...why’d you have to leave Ilvermorny though?”

 

Philip was silent for a moment as memories came rushing back. He sighed and flipped onto his back to look Lukas in the eye.

 

“Let's just say kids there weren't quite as accepting as they are here...I had my issues then, they didn't want to see those issues and, well, kids can be mean.” It was silent for a moment, save for the gentle rushing sounds of the lake.

 

Lukas but his lip. “I'll break up with Rose,” he said abruptly. “I was...one of those kids, but I don’t want to be.”

 

Philip placed a hand on his arm. “I didn't mean it like–”

 

“I know you didn't, but it's true. I don't want to be an asshole anymore. I'll–I'll break up with her.” He spoke almost fervently. Philip tried to ignore the thrill of excitement that ran up his spine at his words.

 

“But what about what your friends will think?”

 

“I’ll...figure something out.” Something darkened in Lukas's expression, but then he shook it away and turned his blue eyes on Philip.

 

Philip had a thousand different responses in the front of his mind, as he didn't know how to feel about Lukas's less-than-ideal compromise. But before Philip knew it, he was being pressed onto the grass as Lukas leaned over to kiss him, deep and gentle. Philip gasped softly and reflexively curled his arms around Lukas to pull him on top of him, the intimate position sending a rush of warmth through his body.

 

Lukas arched on top of him and wound his hands into Philip’s hair as they continued to kiss in the warm sunlight. Philip broke the kiss and ignored Lukas's protesting whine to instead mouth at his pale neck, which elicited a startled gasp from the Slytherin. He pressed a line of open-mouthed kisses from the hollow of Lukas's ear to the bony dip between his collarbones, reveling in the needy moans he caused.

 

“Philip,” Lukas gasped. “ _Philip,”_ he groaned again, before rolling off to sit upright, panting heavily. “As much as I'd like to continue this, anyone could see us here.” He really was beautiful, Philip thought, all flushed and disheveled with the sun illuminating his hair.

 

“Come on, where's your sense of adventure?” Philip teased. Lukas snorted.

 

“Adventure is for idiots. And Gryffindors. Same thing, I guess. I mean, Tommy Patil is a shining example of that.” Philip laughed. Tommy had thankfully survived, even showing up (and predictably failing) at the Quidditch tryouts. Then Lukas bit his lip devilishly and gave a sly glance at Philip. “You wanna see adventure?”

 

Philip's heart skipped a beat as Lukas began swiftly undoing the buttons of his robes. _Are you really going to strip down naked just to show me you're not a coward?_ Philip thought with raised eyebrows. But he certainly wasn't complaining.

 

Lukas continued stripping off layers until he was just down to a pair of black boxer briefs. Philip felt his face flush with heat as he looked at the pale, lean expanses of skin before him. The Slytherin was the picture of athleticism, years of motorcross and farmwork giving him broad shoulders, lean, muscular arms, and a smoothly defined abdomen. Philip tried not to let his eyes trail...further down. But there was a sort of delicate elegance about him as well; his limbs and neck were smooth and long, and his skin was milk-white like a fantasy maiden.

 

“You coming in or what?”

 

Philip pulled himself out of his stupor to see that the object of his admiration was wading in the lake. _Crap._

 

“I uh, no, I'll stay here.” Philip wrapped his arms around his knees and shivered as the memory of icy water filling his lungs rushed unbidden to his mind.

 

“Oh come on, it's not even that cold!” Lukas laughed and playfully splashed droplets of water at Philip, who quickly jerked to his feet.

 

“No, Lukas, I–I don't swim.”

 

“Dude, it’s like, three feet deep.”

 

Philip just shrugged and buried his hands deeper into his robes. Lukas seemed to have caught on to Philip’s discomfort and sloshed back out of the water to sit back on the grass, gently pulling Philip down to sit next to him. Lukas wrapped a long arm around his shoulders.

 

“We can just watch the water then. That's nice too,” Lukas said softly. Philip buried his nose into Lukas's bare shoulder and breathed in his scent, immensely grateful that Lukas didn't prod. For a while, Hogwarts, their classmates, and all the worries about Kane seemed to disappear, and it was only him and Lukas and the gently rippling lake. Philip sighed contentedly; moments like these he wished could last forever.

 

“Philip?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It's probably a good thing we didn't go swimming.” Lukas was looking at the lake with a disconcerted look in his eye.

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“I think I just saw a giant tentacle in the lake.”

 

Philip was silent for a moment.

 

“...Aw, is Lukas scared of the squiddy squid?” Philip wiggled his fingers for effect.

 

“Oh, shut up.”

 

“Don't worry, I'll protect you from the tentacles. Magical squids are poisonous, you know.”

 

“Wait, really?” Lukas looked alarmed.

 

“Merlin’s beard, of course not.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

Philip just laughed.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Late into the night, when the students slept and the corridors were dark and quiet, a man knelt in front of a fireplace, his face lit in green shadows as he gazed earnestly into the flames.

 

“I'm sorry mistress. I am no closer.” The man spoke softly in a deep, hushed whisper.

 

“You continue to disappoint me...but luckily I have new information. The instrument should be in possession someone residing in the castle, likely a student.” A woman’s voice–low, sultry, and commanding.

 

“Due to the instrument’s nature, the possessor will have strong, highly unpredictable spellwork. Once you find it, kill the wizard in order to gain possession of the instrument. And remember, Kane, I expect results.”

 

_A student._

 

_Highly unpredictable spellwork._

 

Kane's face slowly grew into a hungry grin in the green, flickering light.


	13. Possession

 

Lukas walked into the bustling library, scanning the room for Rose’s dark mane of curls. He found her in a corner desk, poring over a large tome. He wiped his sweaty hands on his robes and approached.

  
“Hey Lukas, what're you doing here? Did you come to see me?” Rose asked flirtatiously, giving him a beaming white grin.

  
“Um, yeah actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He attempted to plant his feet firmly in front of her but ended up awkwardly perching by her side. “Uh, what are you reading?” _Dammit, why is this so difficult?_

  
“It's a book by Doctor Faustus, actually.” At Lukas’s blank expression she added, “You know, famous necromancer of the sixteenth century? Creator of the inferius? Do you learn nothing in History of Magic?”

  
“Oh, I haven't gotten to, um, necromancy yet, I guess.” Lukas laughed nervously. “That’s cool, though.” He gulped upon observing the rather graphic pictures of decapitated corpses on the yellowed pages.

  
Rose sighed and closed the book with a thud that sent dust flying out in a cloud, straightening to look Lukas in the eye.

  
“Ok, I'm guessing you didn't actually come to the library on a Quidditch day to talk to me about my hobbies.” She took Lukas’s hand in hers, gently. “Why are you actually here?” Lukas had prepared himself for a number of different scenarios, but this direct questioning was not one of them. _Stupid Slytherins and their perceptiveness._

  
“I, well, I mean I just–”

  
“Do you want to break up with me?”

  
“Yes!”

  
_Fuck._

  
“I mean no, you're perfect, you're amazing, but I, uh, yeah, we should...break up.” Rose extricated her hand from Lukas’s grip, and was silent for a painful moment.

  
“Yeah, it's probably for the best.”

  
…”Wait, really? You agree? How'd you know I was going to ask?” At this, Rose let out a sharp peal of laughter.

  
“Well, you and I haven't exactly been consumed by the fiery passion of romance.” Lukas blinked. “I mean, come on, every romantic encounter we have is hopelessly awkward, we've kissed, like, twice, and you didn't even go on a date with me on Hogsmeade weekend!”

  
“I'm sorry–”

  
“No, no, don't apologize, it's my fault too. Truth is, I really wanted to like you, and you're a great person and all, but I’m just...not that into you.” Rose’s brutal honesty was destroying all the plans for emergency Lukas had formulated, and now he was at a complete loss as to how to respond.

  
“Um. Likewise.” Lukas sat down across from her. “I guess we just weren't right for each other.” _I guess I'm just not into girls. Or rather, hopelessly attracted to Philip Shea._

  
“Yeah. Hey, we can still hang out, though.” She smiled at him with an uncharacteristic warmth in her eyes.

  
“Yeah.” Lukas hesitantly returned her smile. “I'd like that.”

  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
“No way.”

  
“Yes!”

  
“No…” Philip bit his lip to hold back a smile. “You swear?”

  
“Yes, I really broke up with Rose!” Lukas laughed at Philip’s clear disbelief. The two were huddled in a chilly stone alcove outside the castle, blissfully alone due to the fact that no one else was stupid enough to sit outside in the Scottish winter winds.

  
“Ok, what’d she say then?” Philip jutted his chin out at Lukas in an adorable challenge.

  
“She said...that she never liked me anyways.” Lukas leaned back and grinned.

  
“Pfft, yeah right.”

  
Lukas just shrugged. He was still in disbelief himself that things had managed to go so smoothly. A cold gust of wind blew into the alcove, making Philip shiver and huddle deeper into his robes. Lukas shivered as well, but it may have been due to the warmth of Philip's body pressed against his rather than the cold winds he was accustomed to at Tivoli.

  
“Hey, isn't there a Quidditch match today?” Philip turned his head up to Lukas. “What are you doing here?”

  
“Yeah, first match of the season, Slytherin against Gryffindor. It's in two hours, so I’ve got time.” At the mention of the match, Lukas felt the familiar pangs of anxiety in his stomach he used to get before motorcross competitions.

  
“Nervous?” Philip asked, as if reading his mind. Lukas let out a bark of laughter.

  
“Yeah, you could say that.”

  
The difference between motorcross and Quidditch was that now he would be flying a hundred feet in the air rather than ten, and he had a team to support as well, rather than only focusing himself. Not to mention the fact that the entire school would be watching him and judging him as the weird new American kid. Lukas sighed and leaned his head back onto the stone.

  
“I'm sure you'll do awesome,” said Philip, gazing at him with intent brown eyes.

  
“Thanks,” Lukas shrugged, unconvinced.

  
“Hey, your flying has to be better than your Transfiguration, right?” Philip teased.

  
“Oh shut up,” Lukas laughed, shoving Philip's shoulder with his own. “Also, yes, God, I hope so.” Philip laughed, and Lukas took the opportunity to change the topic.

  
“Hey, so what are you planning on doing for winter break? Do most people go home?” Lukas wasn't particularly eager to spend his Christmas in the cramped orphanage, not when there was the entirety of Hogwarts to explore. At the question, Philip's face grew more solemn, and he began fiddling with the hem of his winter robe.

  
“I dunno...At Ilvermorny I used to always go home and have Christmas with my mom, but now…”

  
“Yeah…” Lukas had never had a Christmas without his father, either. Normally around this time he and his dad would take an annual hunting trip to shoot the perfect deer to butcher for Christmas dinner. Lukas had never particularly enjoyed killing animals, but hunting trips were also the only time he felt he really connected with his dad. When they were hunting in the forest, Bo Waldenbeck was a completely different person; energetic and free, and occasionally opening up and telling Lukas stories from his past. It was the only time Lukas felt that his dad genuinely liked him...but clearly things changed.

  
“I guess we're staying here then?” Lukas asked, attempting to shake old memories from his mind.

  
“I guess, I doubt Gabe and Helen will mind if I ask them.”

  
“Christmas at Hogwarts…” Lukas said wistfully. “I'm pretty sure all the Slytherins are leaving, so it could pretty much be you and me,” he said, a bit nervously. Philip gave him an appraising look, then smiled and ruffled his hair with cold hands.

  
“Just you and me,” Philip agreed. “...you sap.” Then he leaned in to kiss him, a kiss that was all icy cold noses and clumsy numb lips but nevertheless filled Lukas with the special kind of heat and excitement reserved solely for Philip. Lukas couldn't help but grin through the kiss. He pulled back and ran his hand through Philip’s wavy hair.

  
“I should probably start getting ready for the match,” Lukas said regretfully. “You'll be watching?”

  
“I wouldn't miss it,” Philip said softly, before reaching up to affectionately straighten Lukas's Slytherin scarf. “Go get ‘em, Lukas.”

  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Philip craned his neck to watch the Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch teams on the ground in the middle of the field as his housemates chattered around him on the stands in high spirits. The players were small green and red dots on the large, grassy field, but Philip could clearly make out Lukas's crown of white-blond hair. He must be nervous, Philip thought, as the tall Slytherin was gripping his broom stiffly and not joining in with the rowdy jeering of his teammates.

  
“And they're off,” came a girl’s magically amplified voice from the teachers’ stand. “Gryffindor in possession of the quaffle—Smith passes to Spinnet, and ooh, that was a nice hit from Slytherin’s beater—Slytherin in possession.”

  
Philip watched eagerly as the surly brunette Slytherin chaser flew across the field, with Lukas dodging bludgers and flying parallel to her some distance away. In a smooth, practiced move she passed the quaffle to Lukas, who caught it and continued racing towards the goalposts.

  
“Slytherin’s Waldenbeck in possession—He’s Slytherin’s newest member; only began flying at the beginning of this year, but it looks like talent and good training are working in his favor.”

  
Philip sat on the edge of his seat as Lukas swerved around a Gryffindor chaser, drew his arm back, and hurled the quaffle towards the goalposts. A collective symphony of cheers and groans emanated throughout the stadium.

  
“A good throw by Waldenbeck, but it takes some real skill to get anything past keeper Bennett.”

  
Philip could make out Lukas cursing in frustration before turning sharply to pursue the Gryffindor chaser now in possession. The game went back and forth like this for a while, both the Gryffindor keeper and the large, troll-like Slytherin keeper proving to be too good at their jobs to let anything through the goalposts. The seekers remained hovering around the outskirts of the field, the snitch nowhere to be seen. Philip had never been a huge Quidditch fan, but somehow he became very interested when Lukas was involved. The tall Slytherin looked completely in his element in the air, zooming across the field like a hawk with his blond hair whipping past his face. Just as Lukas stretched out his arms to catch the quaffle, however, his broom gave a violent jerk forward that sent Lukas lurching backwards and nearly tumbling off his broom.

  
“Gryffindor back in possession, due to Waldenbeck’s fumble—remember, he's relatively new to this, we all make mistakes—wait, it seems that Waldenbeck is in trouble—oh—he's lost control of his broom!”

  
Philip’s heart dropped to his stomach in panic as he watched Lukas jerk from side to side as he struggled to remain on his broomstick. The broom seemed to have a mind of its own, as it lurched violently in all directions as if trying to deliberately unseat Lukas. Philip was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that Lukas was over a hundred feet in the air and barely able to keep from plummeting to the ground.

  
“Waldenbeck’s broom appears to be malfunctioning!” The commentator seemed at a loss as to what to do. “Flint and Prewett have abandoned their posts to help their chaser!”

  
The trollish keeper appeared to be attempting to pull Lukas onto his own broomstick, but Lukas's broom gave another lurch forward that sent him hurtling wildly around the stadium, making the crowd gasp. _Someone must be enchanting his broom_ , Philip thought with a sudden, despairing revelation. _Shit, he's not gonna make it!_

  
Lukas was now dangling from his jerking broomstick by his fingertips, years of motorcross training and sheer luck the only thing keeping him from plummeting to the ground. The teachers were all on their feet, Philip's classmates were shouting all around him, but Philip could hear nothing but a rushing in his ears. Lukas was now hanging from one arm, about to fall off, before–

  
The air around Lukas seemed to seize up, as if he were in a vacuum bubble, before a burst of bright purple light grew around his flailing form. It swelled around him like a protective shield, before flashing gold and disappearing. Lukas thrashed in the air for another second before realizing that it had stopped jerking. He blinked in confusion before pulling himself back into his broom and shakily pushing his hair out of his eyes. Had one of the teachers performed a spell to save him? Philip glanced at the teacher booth but they looked similarly confused. Kamila was saying something to Professor Kane, who just shook his head in confusion, his face an unreadable mask. Perhaps Lukas had saved himself, then. _After all, he definitely has a history of magic doing strange things around him._

  
The Slytherin team briefly conferred in the air, before signaling to the referee to resume the game and darting off to their respective positions. Lukas looked shaken but determined. After a few passes, he caught the quaffle and again sped towards the goalposts, easily swerving to dodge a bludger. Philip's heart jumped as Lukas again jerked violently to the left, but then instead of falling he threw the quaffle past the Gryffindor keeper and into the center goal hoop. The crowd was silent for a hushed moment.

  
“Slytherin scores!” roared the commentator’s voice. “Waldenbeck is in fact entirely in control of his broom, and feints left to trick Bennett, the sneaky bastard—oops, sorry, Professor. Perhaps Waldenbeck’s earlier shenanigans were part of Slytherin’s strategy all along!”

  
From that moment onwards, the Slytherin team was unstoppable. Lukas and the other two chasers were an iron triad, giving the Gryffindors no opportunity to intercept the ball, and the Slytherin beaters hit the bludgers with deadly precision. With each score the Slytherin team grew more and more confident, as the Gryffindors became increasingly desperate. Next to Philip, Tamsin Belby didn't seem to know how to react, as she had proclaimed before the game she was in support of Gryffindor (or at least in support of the decidedly attractive Gryffindor keeper) but couldn't help but cheer with delight as Slytherin scored goal upon goal. Philip felt giddy watching Lukas soar through the air with a bright, uninhibited grin on his narrow features.

  
In the end, the Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch, but Slytherin was so far ahead that they won anyways. Philip stood up and cheered loudly, despite the mild judgement from his fellow Hufflepuffs. Lukas flew several victory loops around the stadium before diving to the ground to be met with wild whoops by his teammates. From what Philip could tell, the troll team captain was gripping Lukas's shoulders and asking him something, probably about the strange broom malfunction and subsequent bubble of purple light, but Lukas was just shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head with a grin. Philip was still suspicious that someone had tried to deliberately sabotage the Slytherin team, but for now he left the stands with a grin. Slytherin had won their first game, and Philip couldn't be prouder.

  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Later that night, Philip lay awake in his bed as his roommates slept. He was genuinely happy for Lukas's victory, but couldn't help the pang of jealousy that he couldn't be there to celebrate with him. He knew Lukas cared about him, if his eager kisses and roving hands were anything to go by, but it still hurt to be ignored. This couldn't go on forever; soon, Lukas would have to face his fears and be true to himself.

  
Philip rolled onto his back with a sigh, before noticing a large barn owl tapping on the circular skylight on the ceiling of his dorm. _Who could be delivering mail at this time of the night?_ Philip cautiously opened the window and retrieved the letter from the owl’s leg, which read:

  
_Hi Philip–I borrowed Alfie’s owl, in case you're wondering. Sorry I couldn't see you after the game, the Slytherins are having a party now. But it's pretty lame–it would be way better if you were here, and I can't wait for winter break! I know you're gonna call me a sap, so I might as well stay consistent and end this appropriately.  
<3<3<3<3 Lukas_

  
Philip snorted at the crude heart drawings at the end of the note, and carefully placed it beside his camera on his nightstand. With a new warmth in his stomach and a smile on his face, Philip again burrowed into his quilt and let sleep overtake him.

 

 

 

 


	14. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If by some miracle you're still reading this, welcome back! I'm sorry about the long hiatus, but have no fear–I haven't given up on this story yet. Honestly, if you're here, major kudos to you for continuing to read this. I appreciate every single one of you. Seriously.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It is a bit strange writing about Christmas in the middle of summer...

Philip woke with a groaning stretch as bright sunlight filtered through the round windows of his empty dormitory. Outside, a fine dusting of snow blanketed the grasses, giving the normally cozy dormitory a winter chill. Nightmares had kept him from sleeping well the previous night, but he knew it would be hopeless trying to get back asleep with sun currently streaming throughout the room.

 

Walking out, Philip smiled at the sixth year girls’ dormitory where Tamsin was likely still fast asleep. The common room was entirely empty, as only he and a few other Hufflepuffs were staying at Hogwarts for winter break. He felt a bit guilty for abandoning Gabe and Helen on their first Christmas as a family together, but figured they understood.

 

The Great Hall was decorated in festive holiday cheer, an enormous Christmas tree haphazardly leaning in the corner. The usual four house tables were replaced with a single table where a sparse gathering of students and teachers were eating breakfast. Philip felt his heart speed up in the typical way it did whenever he saw Lukas as he spotted his favorite head of blond hair near the end of the table. Lukas’s face lit up as he saw him, and Philip plopped down beside him.

 

“Merry Christmas!” Lukas said with a huge, goofy grin as he made room for Philip to sit beside him. Philip didn't miss Lukas's surreptitious scanning of the room to make sure nobody was ridiculing them for sitting together.

 

“It's Christmas Eve,” Philip corrected sleepily as he reached across Lukas for the toast platter.

 

“Eh, close enough,” Lukas shrugged, twirling a muffin around in his hands and staring at him intently. “You ok? You look kind of tired.”

 

Philip snorted. “Do I ever not look tired?”

 

“True…” Lukas conceded. “Nightmares still?”

 

“Yeah,” Philip yawned. His gaze wandered to the end of the table where the teachers sat, and he briefly locked eyes with Professor Kane, who was staring at him with an unreadable dark gaze, before the teacher quickly averted his eyes. Philip returned his focus to his plate with a troubled frown. Beside him, Lukas too was staring at him intently and fidgeting in his seat.

 

“Are you ok?” Philip asked, mildly disconcerted by Lukas's intense gaze.

 

“What? Yeah! Yes, I'm great, how are you? I mean, I guess you just told me you're tired but, ah–” Lukas seemed to realize he was babbling, and took a breath as Philip stared at him bewildered. “I was just wondering...um. I mean, it's Christmas Eve and we...”

 

Philip was now utterly confused.

 

“We what?”

 

“We...should go to Hogsmeade! Together!” Lukas grinned nervously as he unknowingly destroyed his muffin wrapper with his fingers. Philip felt a fluttery jolt in his stomach, which he masked with a gasp of mock shock.

 

“Is Lukas Waldenbeck asking me on a date?”

 

Lukas’s eyes widened like a cornered animal as he made urgent hushing gestures, although the only other students within earshot were engaged in their own conversations.

 

“I didn't say that,” he whispered frantically. “But, um, yes. A date,” he added, at Philip’s raised eyebrows.

 

“I'm sorry, I don't quite understand,” Philip teased, wickedly reveling in the way Lukas squirmed in his seat. “Could you ask me again?”

 

“Oh, fuck you,” Lukas groaned. Philip noticed the tip of his pointy nose turned bright red whenever he was embarrassed. But then he looked Philip square in the eyes and spoke in a whisper:

 

“Will you, Philip Shea, go on a date with me, Lukas Waldenbeck, at Hogsmeade this afternoon?” Philip furrowed his brow and considered for a while.

 

“I suppose I have nothing better to do.”

 

“I hate you,” Lukas said with a flushed face as he petulantly turned back to his breakfast. But when Philip shifted under the table to rest his hand on the Slytherin’s upper thigh and kept it there the entire meal, Lukas’s feelings were quite the opposite of hatred.

 

\-----------

 

At around noon, Philip and Lukas had managed to surreptitiously leave the castle and were now walking side by side along the shopfronts of Hogsmeade. Or rather, Philip was walking while Lukas was nervously trotting, furtively looking over his shoulder every few minutes.

 

“Lukas, chill out,” Philip said in exasperation. “People will think you're an escaped convict or something.”

 

“Huh?” Lukas asked absentmindedly, nervously watching an old lady in magenta snowshoes walk past them across the street.

 

“Literally everyone you know is gone; there's nothing to worry about.” Philip reached out to take the distracted boy’s hand, but Lukas jumped away from the contact as if he had touched a hot stove. “Ok, really?” Philip asked in irritation, stopping in his tracks. “If you're gonna take me on a date, it's generally good form to actually talk to me and maybe not _flinch_ when I try to touch you.”

 

Lukas seemed to realize what he had done and clapped a hand over his face in anguish.

 

“Oh God, I'm sorry,” he groaned. “You're right, I've been a total dick. I just…” Lukas bit his lip. “Maybe we could find somewhere else to go? Somewhere not as busy?”

 

Philip shrugged apathetically, wrapping his arms around himself against the cold. He understood Lukas's reservations; if there was one thing he understood better than anything, it was rejection. But still...that didn't make it hurt any less.

 

“Philip, hey,” Lukas said, softly this time. “I'm really sorry, you know I didn't mean it.” He took Philip’s shoulders so that they were face to face, his intense, soul-searching gaze making Philip avert his eyes in discomfort even as his stomach fluttered giddily. After a moment, Lukas took a deep breath and seemed to come to a decision, before reaching down and taking Philip’s gloved hand in his own. Philip’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he looked from their joined hands to Lukas's face. The Slytherin’s expression was nervous yet steadfast, Philip noted with approval. With a grudging smile, Philip gave his hand a squeeze, which made the other boy start.

 

“Ok fine, let's go, since you're too much of a pussy to stay here,” Philip said with mock arrogance. He watched as Lukas's mouth dropped in indignance and laughed at his clearly wounded pride. Before he could formulate a reply, Philip darted up to press a quick kiss on Lukas's sputtering lips. “See? No one cares,” Philip said quietly, gesturing around at the snowy streets. Lukas's shocked face seemed to soften in response. “C’mon, let's go.”

 

The two eventually made their way to the outskirts of Hogsmeade, where they found a clearing sheltered by a few pine trees, in front of a dirty, somewhat ominous old wooden building.

 

“Are you sure we should be here?” Lukas asked, gazing at the building with wide eyes. “Seems kinda sketchy to me.”

 

“Well I would have suggested sitting in a warm tavern with a fireplace and butterbeer, but someone didn't like that idea so…”

 

“Yeah, yeah, point taken.”

 

“I think this is the Shrieking Shack, actually,” said Philip. “Tamsin was telling me how the locals used to hear screams coming from it, which explains the name.”

 

“Wait, you mean like it's...haunted?” Lukas asked with wide eyes.

 

“Aw, you're not afraid of a few ghosts, are you?” Philip teased.

 

“What, no, of course not!” Lukas exclaimed with indignation. “Spiders, maybe, and Professor McGonagall for sure, but I am not at all afraid of ghosts.” Lukas puffed his chest out for emphasis.

 

“Sure,” Philip said skeptically as he playfully bumped Lukas’s shoulder with his own. “You know, since you’re so fearless, I think you should go prove it.” At this, Lukas quickly glanced at Philip with a poorly concealed spike of worry in his eyes.

 

“Oh yeah? What do you mean?”

 

Philip clapped a gloved hand on his shoulder and gave him a devilish smile. “I think you should walk over to the Shrieking Shack and knock on the door.”

 

Lukas swallowed and crossed his arms over his chest. “And why, exactly, should I do that?” he asked with false flippancy.

 

“That way you can go and talk to the ghosts!” Philip exclaimed with a grin. “Unless you’re _afraid_ or something.” He didn’t bother keeping the obvious challenge out of his tone.

 

“ _Pshh,”_ said Lukas, tossing his hair out of his eyes. “Afraid of ghosts? Certainly not I.”

 

He took a few steps closer to the creaky shed. A chill wind settled in the air, and he shivered. “Ghosts are great!” he called back to Philip, who was fixing him with a smug look.

 

“All the way to the door,” Philip reminded him, before stealthily bending down to gather the snow with his gloved fingertips. Lukas took a few more hesitant steps before flipping back around to open his mouth.

 

“You know, on second thought I– _ahh!”_ Lukas let out a yell as he suddenly got a faceful of icy snow. He spluttered wordlessly as he wiped the snow from his face and tried to process the situation, before noticing Philip laughing raucously at the snowball he had just launched.

 

“Oh, you _little_ –you wanna play this game? I’ll show you how it’s done,” Lukas said vengefully as swiftly packed his own snowball.

 

“No no no!” Philip gasped as he just barely managed to dodge the snowball, still breathless from laughing at Lukas. But he didn’t stop there, and instead hurled another snowball at Lukas’s increasingly aggravated form. And from then on, it was full-fledged warfare, with each boy launching snowballs at each other as fast as they could make them, the Shrieking Shack swiftly forgotten. Philip managed to land another one on Lukas’s chest, but the thrill of victory was soon lessened as Lukas threw a painful one at Philip’s mouth in retaliation. For a while, it was just him and Lukas laughing gleefully like children in the abandoned clearing, all thoughts of school and problems forgotten in the thrill of the moment. It was a moment Philip wished could last forever. Eventually, the fight devolved into Lukas chasing Philip around the Shrieking Shack’s perimeter with an armful of snow as Philip shouted in panic.

 

“I give up!” Philip cried with laughter. “Mercy, _mercy!”_

 

“Oh, you wish!” Lukas retorted with gleeful malice. Then the taller boy closed the distance and tackled Philip to the snowy ground before shoving his armful of slush down the front of Philip’s winter robes.

 

“Cold! Cold!” Philip screamed as the icy moisture began to seep through his sweater. He struggled to get off the ground, but Lukas pinned his shoulders down and straddled his hips, making him gasp. Lukas’s face was red with mirth and physical exertion, and the victorious gleam in his eyes left no question as to who was the winner in this fight. Philip groaned and let his head fall back onto the snowy ground. “I suppose I deserved that,” Philip sighed, as he surrendered himself to sensation of frigid snow seeping into his skin. At the same time, he was suddenly made aware of a very different sensation happening lower down on his body, as well as the mass of the lean, hot male panting heavily above him. Philip felt his face heat up despite the cold, and saw his look of surprise and arousal mirrored in Lukas’s hungry gaze.

 

“Um,” said Philip pointedly, glancing down to where Lukas’s hips straddled his own. Lukas seemed just as surprised as him to have ended up in this particular position, but after a moment he seemed to make up his mind and _moved_ against Philip’s body.

 

“ _Oh–”_ Philip choked out as their hips rolled together and sent a jolt of heat coursing through his body. His clothes suddenly felt too small for his skin, and he felt hot all over despite the armful of snow currently melting under his clothes. And then Lukas rolled his hips again, this time _hard,_ and it was all Philip could do not to cry out in sheer pleasure. He scrabbled his gloved hands to grasp at Lukas’s back, and Lukas dropped his head down to the crook of Philip’s neck, drawing their bodies flush together on the cold ground.

 

“Oh god,” Lukas groaned raggedly, his voice muffled against the skin of Philip’s neck. He then proceeded to continue thrusting against Philip’s hips and– _Merlin–_ Philip thought he could feel the other boy’s hard length through their layers of heavy winter clothing. He wrapped his arms tighter around the Slytherin’s back and gasped as each thrust sent a wave of heat through his veins. “Lukas,” he panted as he thrust his hips eagerly to meet Lukas’s. He wrapped a leg around Lukas’s hips and– _oh–_ that certainly made things interesting. It wasn’t enough, and yet it was too too much, and he moaned raggedly into the frigid air. _The frigid air–right, it’s frigid because we’re outside in Hogsmeade dry-humping in the snow and this_ really _isn’t how you imagined your first time to go._ This thought was enough to snap Philip out of it.

 

“Lukas, Lukas, I– _oh sweet Merlin,_ Lukas!” Philip pushed at Lukas’s chest so that they were looking at each other eye-to-eye.

 

“Huh?” Lukas said stupidly, his face red and his breath harsh. Philip took a shaky breath and tried not to think about the hard bulge between Lukas’s legs pressed against his hip.

 

“Maybe...we should wait until sometime when we’re inside?” Philip suggested, a bit unsteadily. Lukas didn’t seem to process what he said, so he added, “You know, continue this when we’re not outside? In public?” He emphasised the last few words and a look of understanding came crashing down on Lukas’s features.

 

“Oh. Oh god, right.” He rolled off of Philip to sit beside him in the snow, causing Philip to shiver in the sudden absence of his body. Philip watched as a look of horror began to wash over his expression at the realization of what they had been so close to doing. “Oh _god,_ what were we thinking?” he asked with wide eyes. Philip chuckled wryly.

 

“There were a few things I know I was thinking of.” He sat up and brushed dusty snow from his hair, unsuccessfully willing his arousal to go away. Lukas let out a high-pitched chuckle. Philip didn't miss the furtive glance he sent towards the direction of Philip’s crotch.

 

“Yeah I guess that's true.” The two stared at each other in mutual shock and were silent for a moment, before simultaneously bursting into laughter.

 

“No, this is serious,” Lukas tried to assert as he let out helpless peaks of laughter. “Seriously, anyone could have walked by!”

 

The thought of this made Philip laugh even harder. “Well it's not like I started it! You're the one who decided to freaking accost me in the middle of a field of snow,” Philip choked out mirthfully.

 

“Accost?” Lukas said indignantly. “Oh come on, you liked it.” Philip held up his hands in surrender.

 

“Hey, I never said I was against you accosting me. Feel free anytime, actually. Just maybe not in a public setting when I have a bucket of snow freezing inside my shirt.”

 

“Oh right,” Lukas remembered. “Sorry about that,” he said, although his grin conveyed anything but sincere apologies. However, he sobered up as Philip shivered violently. “We learned a drying spell in Charms, do you want me to try it out?”

 

“Knowing your reputation, I think I'll pass on that,” Philip said wryly.

 

“Yeah...I'd probably end up sucking all the moisture out of your body or something.” Lukas gave his wand a sad look. “We should go back to the castle, though, really. It isn't healthy to walk around in wet clothes.” Philip didn't voice the fact that he wouldn't _be_ in wet clothes if not for Lukas, and instead accepted the gloved hand offered to him with a smile. As first dates go, freezing wet clothes or not, he imagined this was one of the better ones.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A few hours later, thoughts of fluttery snowflakes and accosting attractive boys still lingered in Lukas’s mind as he took in the delicious aroma of the Christmas Eve feast before him. The Great Hall had been rearranged so that all the remaining students at school sat together at one table, along with the teachers that hadn't gone home for the holidays. A humongous Christmas tree was leaning in the corner, and the rest of the hall was festively adorned with sprigs of holly and bright silver bells. Lukas had never seen anything like it. Christmas at home usually meant a new bike and a day off from farm work–Bo Waldenbeck certainly didn't have enough Christmas spirit for anything more.

 

“Turkey, Lukas?” The Hufflepuff girl’s cheerful voice (Tamsin, Lukas thought her name was) brought him out of his stupor. She offered a plate of roast turkey from where she sat across from him. Philip was seated next to her.

 

“Oh, no thanks,” Lukas said politely. “We raised turkeys back at home, and I've always felt kind of bad about killing them, so…”

 

“Really, you raised turkeys?” Tamsin asked with interest, like it was a rare and fascinating thing to do. Lukas didn't think it was that weird, but then again in the wizarding world nearly everything about home was weird.

 

“Lukas grew up in a muggle farm,” Philip explained to her. He had changed into a dark green sweater that made his skin positively glow, and Lukas felt a flash of heat as he remembered the events of the afternoon that had prompted him to change into that sweater.

 

“That's wicked!” Tamsin exclaimed with sincerity. “We had a few garden gnomes at one point, but that's about it. I can't imagine living on an actual farm!” Lukas found her bubbly excitement to be contagious, and he laughed.

 

“Yeah, well I'm sure you'd get tired of it pretty fast. Lots of waking up at dawn and cleaning out their cages.”

 

Tamsin nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose now that you’re a wizard you could do everything a lot quicker though. I think magical farms are mostly run by house elfs, and they use their magic to water the crops and such.”

 

Lukas went for a noncommittal nod, biting back the retort that A) he was definitely not welcome back home for the summer, and B) if he did try to magically clean the turkey cages he would probably end up with a lot of very much dead turkeys. Philip gave him a knowing look of concern from across the table, but Lukas averted his eyes and dug into his mashed potatoes.

 

The conversation eventually turned to schoolwork and Lukas let his attention drift as Tamsin and Philip chattered away. There were probably only about twenty other students at Hogwarts for the holidays, and Lukas wondered what their reasons were. Maybe they too had less than accepting parents? He knew Tamsin’s parents were away touring Siberia or something like that, so maybe they had similar situations. His gaze drifted towards the end of the table where most of the teachers were chatting and, to his discomfort, found Professor Kane staring at him intently.

 

“...What do you think, Lukas?” Tamsin’s voice made him turn back with a jolt, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Kane was still staring at him. The thought made his skin crawl.

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“I said, do you want to join us at the Hufflepuff common room tonight and stay for Christmas day? I wouldn’t want you spending Christmas alone in the Slytherin dungeon,” Tamsin said kindly.

 

“Oh, um.” Now that he thought of it, Lukas didn’t want to spend Christmas alone in the Slytherin dungeon either. “Is that even allowed?”

 

“Probably not, but I doubt anyone would mind if we snuck you in.”

 

“And you can sleep in my room,” Philip added, his face immediately flushing red as he realized the implications of what he just said. “You know, since all of my roommates are gone,” he hastily added.

 

Lukas felt his own face heat up a bit which he masked by taking a large gulp of pumpkin juice. “Yeah, I’d be down,” he said offhandedly. “You’re right, it would suck to be alone.” Lukas would never admit it, but being alone in the Slytherin common room always gave him the creeps, and he would be grateful for a night away from the excessive snake decor. And the prospect of spending the night with Philip...well, he certainly couldn’t see a downside to that either.


	15. Laying Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic finally lives up to its "eventual smut" rating ;)

The Hufflepuff common room was nothing like Lukas had imagined it. For some reason he had expected it to be like the Slytherin common room, except yellow instead of green and full of portraits of cute badgers instead of snakes. In truth, it was warm and homey, and covered in cacti and herbs that gave the room a familiar outdoor scent. A large portrait of a cheerful looking witch hung over the stone fireplace, and she smiled kindly at Lukas whenever he looked her direction, which certainly couldn’t be said of old Fido the basilisk. There were also more people than in the empty Slytherin house, which Lukas attributed to all the wealthy pureblood Slytherins going home for the holidays. Apart from him, Tamsin, and Philip, there was a small group of younger Hufflepuffs across the room.

 

Lukas was seated next to Philip on a cozy mustard yellow loveseat, and the constant proximity threatened to drive him crazy. Currently, he and Tamsin were bantering about potions recipes or something, and Lukas didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.

 

“I’m telling you, it’s bezoars, not goat bile!” Tamsin told Philip emphatically, waving her arms around for emphasis.

 

“Goat bile is the only way to do it properly!” Philip retorted. “It works the same, except it’s much more reliable. Bezoars aren’t even allowed at Ilvermorny!” Lukas marvelled at how Philip’s normal mask of reservation left him in the warm space of the common room. His brown eyes glinted brightly in the firelight and his cheeks glowed in the heat of the argument. Lukas wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless right there on the mustard sofa.

 

Meanwhile, Tamsin put her hands on her hips in mock prissiness and said, “I’m sorry, but I don't think you really have any say in this considering how you sleep through potions class every day.” Philip raised his eyebrows and matched her haughty stance.

 

“Maybe I sleep through potions because I already know how to brew a perfect quodpot solution...using  _ goat bile _ . Lukas, back me up here!”

 

Hearing his name jerked Lukas out of his daze. He had been staring entranced at Philip’s lips as they argued, but now he was affixed by the Hufflepuff’s expectant brown gaze.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Lukas said to Tamsin, reluctantly removing his gaze from Philip’s face. “Goat bile. What he said.” Philip grinned and Tamsin threw her hands up in exasperation. “...What’s a bezoar?” he added, after a moment. Both Hufflepuffs burst into laughter.

 

“It’s like a kidney stone, but found in the stomachs of goats,” Tamsin explained with a grin. “Philip, I don’t think his opinion counts in this particular argument.”

 

“What are you talking about?” asked Philip. He put an arm around Lukas’s shoulders that made him freeze in his seat. “Lukas’s opinion is the most well informed I know.” He flashed his teasing grin towards him, but Lukas stayed silent and unmoving. All he could think about was the arm around his shoulders and the telltale proximity of himself and Philip.  _ What are people going to think?  _

 

As if reading his mind, Philip removed his arm from Lukas’s shoulders, leaving a cold space where his warm skin had been. Lukas could feel him staring, but he couldn't meet his eyes.  _ Crap, I bet it's obvious we're together. What if everyone already knows? _

 

The mood immediately changed, and Lukas could feel Philip stiffen beside him. Tamsin was staring at the interaction with wide eyes. After a few moments of Lukas refusing to make eye contact, Philip let out a huff of breath and muttered, “I'm going to the bathroom.”

 

“Ok, cool,” Lukas forced out brightly, but Philip just gave him a dark glance before striding off angrily. Lukas pretended not to notice the sudden cold at his side where Philip had been.

 

“What's gotten into him, huh?” Lukas asked with false nonchalance and a casual grin. But Tamsin didn't return the smile and instead fixed him with a piercing gaze that made him feel even more exposed and uncomfortable than the arm around his shoulders had. He quickly dropped the forced smile and shifted uncomfortably under her knowing stare.

 

“Lukas…” she said softly, more serious than he'd ever seen her. “Whatever is going on between you and Philip, it's fine.”

 

Lukas thought he felt his heart stop in his chest. “W-what?” he managed to stammer out.

 

“In the wizarding world, same-sex relations are perfectly normal,” she continued. “No one cares, really.”

 

Lukas wanted to defend himself and assert that there was nothing going on between him and Philip, but Tamsin’s words shook him to the core and all of his practiced denials went tumbling down.

 

“...Really?” he eventually managed to ask in a quiet voice. “Even Slytherins–they don't care?”

 

Tamsin thought for a moment. “I suppose there's probably some prejudice for them, since they're so caught up in procreating with other perfect purebloods. But overall, yeah, it's really not a big deal. I'm surprised it is for muggles, honestly.”

 

Lukas let out a harsh laugh and said, “Well, not for all muggles. But for my dad...yeah I'd say it's a pretty big deal.”

 

Tamsin’s brown curls bounced as she nodded in understanding. “I'm sorry about that. But remember that in the wizarding world you're free to love whoever you want.” She said this with such sincerity that Lukas nearly felt like crying.

 

_ Free to love whoever I want. _ Lukas didn't entirely believe that every wizard was ok with it, as his Slytherin housemates were sure to hold some prejudices. But even for one person to not care who he liked...It was more than Lukas ever thought possible.

 

_ Two, _ he corrected. There were two people that didn't judge him for his preferences, and one was currently alone in the bathroom probably feeling like shit. Lukas stood up suddenly.

 

“I, uh. I'm gonna go check on Philip,” he told Tamsin abruptly. “Thanks,” he added, hoping she knew how much he meant it.

 

“Good idea,” she said, before yawning. “I think I'm gonna go to bed.” Lukas nodded and hurried out of the common room as fast as he could.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Philip stared up at the wooden ceiling of his dorm as he lay on top of his quilt.  _ Lukas freaking Waldenbeck. _ He knew he had probably gone too far by putting his arm around his shoulders, but still...he had hoped Lukas would be able to be himself with Tamsin, at the very least. It was Christmas, after all. Philip sighed loudly and rubbed his hands on his face, when the round door to the dormitory opened and Lukas tentatively walked in.

 

“Philip?” Lukas asked softly, squinting in the dim light of the room. Philip sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees, raising his eyebrows in response. “Philip, I'm sorry,” he said, coming to stand awkwardly in front of the bed. Philip wanted to be angry, but as usual, the sight of Lukas’s pleading face washed out all of his senses. He sighed and patted the the mattress beside him, gesturing for Lukas to sit.

 

“It's ok. I should have known you weren't ready,” he said. All he really felt was sadness that Lukas had been raised in such a way that he flinched away from being touched in public and couldn't accept himself for who he was.

 

Lukas sat down beside him so that their thighs touched, and looked agitated as he said, “No really, I’m sorry. I've been so caught up in keeping us secret that I haven't even thought about how it makes you feel. Maybe I'm not ready, but–but I have to be. I will. I'll stop hiding, although Tamsin said there was no reason to hide in the first place. I–” Lukas was rambling, and Philip placed a hand over his mouth to stop the stream of words.

 

“Slow down, slow down. Are you saying...we won't have to be a secret anymore?” he asked. It seemed too good to be true.

 

Lukas removed Philip’s hand from his mouth and instead held it with both of his own. He fixed Philip with frightened but honest eyes and said simply, “Yes.” He bit his lip before adding, “Because–because I really, really like you.”

 

And that was enough to send Philip’s heart fluttering away in a million happy little pieces. There were a hundred responses he could have given, but he couldn't seem to articulate any of them. Lukas continued to gaze at him, earnest and hopeful, and he couldn't believe his luck to be with such a beautiful, determined, and utterly ridiculous man. So he cupped Lukas’s cheek in his hand, pressed their foreheads together, and let out a huff of laughter before saying, “I really, really like you too, you idiot.”

 

And then he closed the short distance between them and pressed their lips together in a kiss. Lukas responded immediately, wrapping an arm tighter around Philip and twisting the other in his hair. Philip brought his other hand up to cup the other side of Lukas’s face, and deepened the kiss. It had started out as a sweet, chaste thing, but quickly became more heated as they surrendered their mouths to each other.

 

Philip let out a violent shudder as the wet, velvety muscle of Lukas’s tongue first slid against his own. He reflexively moved his hands to tangle in Lukas’s silky blond locks, and the Slytherin  _ moaned  _ in response. They had kissed plenty of times before, but never like this. Before hadn't been this intense, hadn't made Philip gasp into Lukas’s mouth as each thrust of his tongue sent waves of dark, hot pleasure seeping through his body. 

 

“Lukas,” he gasped breathlessly in between kisses. They were still awkwardly twisted from where they sat side by side on the bed, and suddenly there seemed to be too much space between them. “Lukas,” he repeated, briefly pulling away from the kiss. Lukas looked disappointed at the separation, but Philip only paused to plop down backwards onto the bed and pull Lukas down on top of him.

 

Lukas swiftly adjusted his position so that their bodies were lined up with each other, and then brought his lips crashing down onto Philip’s. Philip couldn't help letting out a moan as every part of his body was suddenly in contact with Lukas. Lukas was everywhere, from his hot breath intermingling with Philip’s own to the long, hard line of his body pressing him into the mattress. Philip clutched at Lukas’s back as their tongues continued to twine together, before moving one hand lower down to squeeze at his firm buttock. This elicited a startled gasp from the Slytherin, and Philip felt a thrill of smug excitement at having produced such a reaction. He brought his other hand down to Lukas’s ass and began to knead it, watching Lukas’s face go red at the intimate motion.

 

But Lukas seemed to notice Philip’s smug expression and, never one to be one-upped, suddenly thrust his hips against Philip’s, making them both gasp. “Oh  _ Merlin,” _ Philip groaned into the air as the contact seemed to send electricity up his sound. Philip used his hands on Lukas’s ass to again grind their hips together, and Lukas dropped his head into the bed beside Philip’s with a heavy exhale of air.

 

“Merlin is right,” Lukas groaned into Philip’s neck as they continued to eagerly rut against each other. They had done...similar actions previously that day in the snow, but it was entirely different now that they were in the privacy of the dorm with far less layers of clothing between them. Although, come to think of it, there were still a great deal too many articles of clothing involved in the situation.

 

Lukas seemed to be of the same opinion, as he then wedged a hand between their bodies and up Philip’s shirt. Philip gasped and couldn't help but arch into the contact. Lukas touched him hesitantly at first, but soon began to rove Philip’s torso maddeningly with his hand, sending shivers coursing throughout his body. With a start, Philip felt his fingers brush his nipple, and suddenly he couldn't bear the layers of clothing separating them. He tugged at the hem of Lukas’s shirt until the other boy got the idea and pulled it over his head, and then held his arms up as Lukas did the same to his own sweater. Philip propped himself up on an elbow and took a moment to revel in the expanse of lean, pale torso now exposed before him.

 

“Jeez, you're hot,” Philip said softly, shyly reaching out to run his hand across the other boy’s chest. He really was, too; all smooth skin and lean muscle with the lithe grace of an athlete. Lukas flashed a grin at the compliment before roaming Philip’s body with such a blatantly hungry expression that Philip felt his face flush more than it already had. Feeling a bit exposed under the dark-eyed gaze, Philip pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around Lukas’s now bare back, before pulling him into another deep kiss. Lukas was still straddling his lap, and Philip brought his legs up to cross around Lukas’s back. Philip was hard–harder than he'd ever been, and each thrust of Lukas’s hard bulge against his own sent a new jolt of pleasure coursing through his veins. It was overwhelming, yet it wasn't enough. Philip let his fingers drag down Lukas’s chest until they paused at his belt buckle. Philip felt Lukas inhale sharply and grow still at the silent question.

 

“Do you want to?” Philip whispered, searching Lukas’s eyes intently for any sign of fear or uncertainty. 

 

Lukas returned the gaze and whispered back, “Yeah,” before capturing Philip’s mouth in a needy kiss. But Philip wanted to be absolutely certain, and reluctantly pulled away.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

 

Lukas’s mouth pulled into a surprised smile and said, “Yeah, I’m sure.” 

 

And that was all the reassurance Philip needed. With fumbling fingers, he undid Lukas’s belt and the buttons of his pants, revealing the bulge of Lukas’s straining erection beneath his black underwear. Philip paused for a moment, and then pressed his palm against Lukas’s bulge through the thin cloth.

 

“ _ Oh,” _ Lukas gasped as he unconsciously jerked his hips forward into Philip's hand. Philip continued to fondle him through his underwear, revelling in the desperate noises coming from Lukas’s throat. Lukas seemed to have other plans of action in mind, however, as he pushed Philip's wrist away from between his legs and shoved him down onto the mattress with a dull thud. Then he pressed a kiss into Philip’s sternum that made the Hufflepuff squirm into the bed, while he simultaneously undid his belt. And then, in a few swift movements, Lukas’s hand was now on Philip’s erection, returning the favor. Philip bit his lip to keep from crying out as Lukas stroked his cock through his underwear, his motions fumbling at first but swiftly gaining experience.

 

“Lukas, Lukas, oh Merlin,” Philip could only pant out as his hands scrabbled for purchase on the other boy’s shoulders. “Pants,” he managed to choke out. “Get them off,” he ordered.

 

Lukas leapt to action with superhuman speed, rolling off the bed to pull off his pants and briefs, and then doing the same to Philip. Philip laughed at the other boy’s eagerness as he took in the sight of Lukas’s naked body. He didn't take it in for long, however, as Lukas swiftly climbed back into the bed and again straddled Philip’s body, pressing their bare cocks together at last. This time, Philip couldn't stop himself from crying out Lukas’s name as they began to grind against each other, this time frantically.

 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Philip,” Lukas panted as he thrust his hips with wild abandon. Each slide of Lukas’s slick cock against Philip’s sent him closer to the edge, and he knew they weren’t going to last much longer. After a few more desperate thrusts, Philip felt Lukas’s muscles clench as he came to a climax above him. The  _ whimper _ he let out was enough to send Philip to his own orgasm, and he kept his arms wrapped tightly around Lukas’s back as he moaned into his hair.

 

They remained entwined together for a moment, panting harshly into the silent room. Eventually, Lukas rolled off of Philip to lay beside him, turning his head to look him in the eye with a slightly stupefied expression.

 

“Holy shit,” said Lukas in a matter-of-fact tone. Philip snorted and rolled onto his side to face him.

 

“Yeah,” Philip replied, tracing his fingers on Lukas’s bony cheekbone. “Glad we didn't do it outside in the snow?”

 

Lukas made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “Dude, can you imagine? Actually, I can imagine. It'd probably be like this but a lot colder and wetter...Although I guess this was fairly wet as is.” He glanced down pointedly at the evidence of their prior activities coating his abdomen with smatterings of white. Philip groaned in response and covered his face with his hands.

 

“Did you seriously just say that?” he groaned in disbelief. “I swear, you have no filter sometimes.”

 

“Hey, you're the one who caused this  _ wetness. _ I think I have every right to–”

 

Philip cut him off by darting in to place a kiss on his mouth. Then he reached over to grab his wand from the bedside table, casting a quick  _ scourgify _ to take care of said wetness. “Shut up,” he said neatly, before nuzzling his face into Lukas’s neck and closing his eyes. Lukas let out a huff of laughter before pulling the blanket over them and shifting so that he could wrap his arms around Philip more comfortably. 

 

“G’night, Philip,” he said softly, before pecking him on the lips one last time and closing his eyes. With that, Philip let sleep overtake him, and he slept more soundly than he had in years.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Far below the Hufflepuff common room, in the moist darkness of the corridors beneath the lake, Kane strode silently until he reached the crevice in the stone wall. _

 

“ _ Pureblood,” he crooned softly, which caused the hidden door to slide open and reveal the dim green of the room inside. Once inside, he paused for a moment and twirled his wand, ignoring the unpleasant hissing of the snake in the portrait above the fireplace. The task ahead of him was regrettable, but he knew it was necessary. _

_ And it was far better than the alternative. _

 

_ So he strode deeper into the dungeon, down spiral staircases, until he reached the correct door and slowly eased it open. Four beds adorned the perimeter of the room, three empty and one with its curtains drawn–the victim had made it easy for him. He drew a breath and pointed his wand at the curtains. _

 

“Avada kedavra!”  _ he shouted into the room, the green light of the curse mirroring the green decor. He pocketed his wand–this had been quite easy. With a pleasant smile, he slid the curtains open to find– _ nothing _? _

 

_ The bed was empty. _

 

_ The student had evaded his grasp. _

 

_ Elsewhere in the castle, the house elves could just barely make out a howl of fury emanating from deep in the stony depths of the Slytherin dormitories. _

 


	16. Yuletide Blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Christmas fluff, and then some drama (I'm sorry). Thanks for reading!

Lukas had been on his broomstick fleeing from a horde of angry jocks on the Red Hook football field when he was suddenly jerked awake by a hand smacking his face.

 

He sat up abruptly and realized the hand belonged to Philip, who was currently whimpering in his sleep, the sheets tangled around his thrashing form.

 

“Philip, hey Philip,” Lukas said blearily, shaking the other boy awake. Philip woke with a start and flailed his fists around blindly. “Hey, easy there,” Lukas soothed. “It was just a dream, it's ok now.”

 

Understanding filled Philip’s eyes and he gave a harsh shudder, dropping his head onto Lukas’s shoulder.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lukas whispered, wrapping his arms around Philip’s shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Philip was still for a moment before silently shaking his head against Lukas’s neck. “That's ok,” Lukas said. If it had been him, he probably wouldn't have shared his nightmare either. So instead he just rubbed circles on Philip’s back and let him breathe. He inhaled the lovely fragrance of Philip’s hair and felt a warmth in his chest at the simple fact of sharing a bed with Philip. “It's ok,” he whispered softly into his dark curls. And eventually, it was ok, and they both drifted back to sleep.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  


For the first time in years, Philip woke up gradually with images of soft hair and kisses floating through his consciousness, rather than being jolted awake by visions of cold, sharp ice and the feeling of being consumed by water. He woke to find himself on his side, with a warm presence pressed along his back. As his eyes adjusted to the bleak morning light, he felt a thrill in his chest as he recognized the long arm thrown across his chest and remembered the events of the previous night. He felt his lips pull into a smile, and he burrowed deeper into Lukas’s body with a sigh of contentment.

 

Behind him he felt Lukas stir, and felt a shiver down his spine as the taller boy hugged him closer and pressed his lips on the back of his neck. “Merry Christmas,” Lukas murmured sleepily into his hair. Philip let himself remain in the position for a few moments longer before flipping over to look Lukas in the eye. Lukas’s hair was rumpled, there was a crease in his cheek from where it had been pressed against Philip’s pillow, and Philip thought he hadn't seen anything more beautiful in his life.

 

“Merry Christmas, Lukas,” he replied, pressing a soft kiss to Lukas’s pliant lips. The other boy smiled almost shyly, and reached out to run his hand along Philip’s side in a way that made his heart speed up.

 

“Sleep well?” Lukas asked lightly, although something in his tone hinted that he wanted to ask more. Philip suddenly remembered the nightmare waking them both in the middle of the night, and knew Lukas was referring to that.

 

“Better than usual,” Philip eventually settled with. “The nightmare...it was pretty normal, nothing to worry about.”

 

Lukas nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I get them too. What–” He bit his lip in hesitation. “What do you usually dream about?”

 

Philip was silent for a few moments before softly replying, “Drowning, mostly.”

 

Luckily, Lukas didn’t press him for a more detailed answer. Instead, they simply lay there in companionable silence, with Lukas running his fingers through Philip’s hair. Eventually he moved his hand to brush against the bare skin of Philip’s stomach, sending violent shivers up his spine. Philip inhaled sharply and caught Lukas’s hand with his own.

 

“That tickles,” Philip huffed softly.

 

“Oh yeah?” Lukas grinned, waggling his fingers where they were trapped in Philip’s grasp as a playful threat.

 

“Don't even think about it,” Philip asserted, rolling on top of Lukas and capturing his mouth in a deep kiss before the other boy could react.

 

Lukas gasped softly into Philip’s mouth, his body going soft and pliant as he wrapped his arms around Philip’s bare back. Philip deepened the kiss and felt a warm shudder down his spine as he felt the hot, velvety muscle of Lukas’s tongue against his own. The Slytherin had morning breath and Philip was sure his own mouth tasted just as sour, but it felt too good to care. They remained entwined together for a while longer until Philip could no longer stop himself from breaking into a wide grin, forcing them to stop the kiss.

 

“So…” he said, grinning down at Lukas. “No more hiding, you said.” He meant it as a statement of fact, but it came out as more of a question, and he searched the other boy’s face intently. He wanted to be certain Lukas’s earlier promise was genuine–he’d had enough of lies and being pushed aside in public. Lukas’s lips were pink and parted, and the sunlight had just begun to filter through the small round window to illuminate the glow of his eyes. He reached up to cup both sides of Philip’s face, and took a breath before replying.

 

“No more hiding,” the Slytherin agreed softly, staring into Philip’s eyes intently. “Never again,” he whispered. He looked scared, Philip noticed, but didn’t break eye contact. Philip again couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face.

 

“Good,” he whispered back, threading his hands through Lukas’s tousled hair. He pecked the other boy’s lips before saying,”So if we’re together for real, we may as well make it official, right?” At Lukas’s look of confusion, he just grinned maliciously and pressed a kiss to the Slytherin’s cheek.

 

Then in a decidedly wicked maneuver, Philip shifted on top of Lukas suggestively and began to trail kisses down his pale jaw, feeling the other boy’s breath harshen as a result. When he reached the smooth skin of his neck, he sucked, _hard,_ with every intention of leaving a hickey.

 

“Philip, what are you–” Lukas began, before cutting his own words off with a strangled “ _Fuck.”_ He threw his head back against the pillow as Philip worked on the soft flesh of his neck. When Philip was satisfied with the red mark he created, he gave it a soft kiss and looked back into Lukas’s eyes.

 

“Dude,” Lukas said, a bit breathlessly. “Everyone’s gonna see that now.”

 

“Isn’t that the point?” Philip responded innocently. Lukas huffed out a breath of laughter.

 

“You couldn’t have...I don’t know, done it in a less obvious spot?” asked Lukas. At this, Philip raised his eyebrows.

 

“You want me to give you hickeys in... _less obvious_ spots?” he asked, placing meaningful emphasis on the words. “That can be arranged.”

 

“That’s not what I meant–” Lukas began, but he stopped himself with a sharp intake of breath as Philip began trailing open-mouthed kisses down his torso. Philip took his time, lingering at the lean curve of Lukas’s hipbone and feeling the boy shudder as he kissed the sensitive flesh of his lower abdomen. “You know, on second thought, go ahead,” Lukas breathed, his legs jerking unbidden at the things Philip was doing to him under the covers.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Philip teased from his position at Lukas’s hips, before resuming his ministrations and giving Lukas a fine Christmas present indeed.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After a lazy morning in bed together, Philip and Lukas got dressed and ventured out to the Hufflepuff common room. To his surprise, Lukas found that a small pile of presents had appeared under the Christmas tree overnight.

 

“Are those for us?” he asked Philip quizzically. Christmas at home had been a low-key event; Lukas’s father usually gave him cash, as Lukas never asked for anything specific, and they would have a small and silent Christmas dinner together. It hadn’t always been that way–Lukas had vague childhood memories of piles of presents under a Christmas tree and cheerful laughter by a warm fireplace. But after his mother died, it was never quite the same again.

 

“I dunno, let’s check,” Philip responded, looking just as skeptical as Lukas. Lukas watched as Philip knelt to get a closer look. The Hufflepuff was wearing a maroon sweater, and Lukas itched to brush back the dark lock of hair that had fallen into his face. Then he remembered that he was allowed to brush back the hair from his boyfriend’s face, so he crouched down behind him and did just that. Philip smiled at the gesture, his cheeks pink and his hair still tousled from sleep. “Well this one’s for you for sure,” said Philip, passing over a small envelope with a yellow seal. _To Lukas, from Philip,_ the letter said. Lukas immediately felt a wave of guilt course through him.

 

“Oh no,” he said, feeling like the worst person alive as he accepted the envelope. “I didn’t get you anything.” But Philip waved him off.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” Philip said. “We’ve both had other things on our minds–I only put this together last minute since I had them lying around–never mind, just open it.” The Hufflepuff looked a bit flustered. Still feeling guilty, Lukas carefully opened the envelope to reveal of stack of small, moving Polaroid pictures. Looking closer, he saw that they were all pictures of him and Philip from various points throughout the semester. There was the very first one of them in the library, as well as several others Lukas was never aware of Philip having taken.

 

“Really, they’re not much, and most of them aren’t very high quality–” Philip was rambling as he watched Lukas flip through them.

 

“Philip,” Lukas interrupted, carefully placing the photos on his lap and placing his hands on Philip’s shoulders. In a sincere voice, he said, “They’re perfect, really. Thank you.” Then he placed a kiss on Philip’s lips, which seemed to convince the Hufflepuff. “And sometime soon I’ll find a way to repay you,” he added honestly. He meant it, too–Philip always put others before himself, yet he deserved everything he wanted in the world. Lukas internally vowed to be a better boyfriend from that moment onwards; a boyfriend worthy of Philip.

 

The rest of the morning passed in a comfortable, yet bittersweet manner. Lukas unexpectedly received a gift from Ms. Dommus (a knit scarf in a rather unflattering shade of purple), as well as a small box of chocolate frogs from the Hogwarts faculty, which they gave to all students staying for the holidays. But there was nothing, not even a note, from his father, which cast a melancholy shade over the morning. Lukas hadn’t hoped for a present, or even a letter, but the lack of acknowledgement of any kind hurt. But he tried to be content with what he had.

 

After all, with a broomstick, a boyfriend, and the promise of a magical future ahead of him, he certainly had far more at Hogwarts than he had ever dreamed of back home.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Outside the castle, the Great Lake had frozen over, giving a quiet tranquility to an atmosphere that was usually bustling with noisy students. The surrounding lawns had long since lost their greenery and were coated with a clean layer of white snow. The lakeside was grey and bitterly cold, but Philip felt warm from a combination of multiple layers of clothing and copious amounts of butterbeer as he huddled on a bench on the lawns. Part of the warmth he felt was also likely due to watching a certain Slytherin boy flying in easy loops on his broom over the frozen lake. Lukas’s pale blond hair and green Slytherin scarf trailed behind him as he soared through the icy air, and Philip marvelled at the beauty of the image.

 

Philip took out his new camera from Helen and Gabe and snapped a picture of Lukas flying over the lake. He had been ecstatic when he received the camera, but the true highlight of the morning had been the letter he received from his mother. It had explained how her program was going well, that she was making progress, and that she missed him. Philip tried not to be too hopeful, as she had recovered many times before only to spiral back into addiction, but it was still good news. Maybe it would be real this time.

 

Philip was wrenched out of his thoughts by Lukas shouting out, “Hey Philip, watch this!” as he soared past on his broom. Philip watched as Lukas dove forwards, pressed flat against his broom to gain speed, before abruptly pulling up to do a double backwards loop. Philip didn’t know much about Quidditch, but he reckoned Lukas was as good as any professional player, and he let out a cheer of encouragement.

 

“Do it again!” Philip yelled encouragingly. “I’ll film it this time.”

 

Lukas flashed a bright grin in response and flew back up to an astonishing height to prepare for the dive again, as Philip readied his new camera. “Ok, go!” Philip shouted, positioning the camera’s frame around Lukas’s hovering form. Lukas grinned and gave a cocky salute before leaning forwards and diving.

 

Except he didn’t make it far.

 

Lukas was suddenly hit from the side with some sort of invisible force, violently wrenching him sideways on his broom. The impact sent his broom into a rapid spiral as it hurtled towards the frozen lake, with Lukas barely clinging on. As the broom continued crashing downwards, Philip thought he saw droplets of dark red spray out from Lukas’s flailing figure–he had been cursed, Philip realized in a horrified daze–and that was far too much blood. Then Lukas lost grip on the broom and went freefalling straight down as his broom continued its doomed trajectory. With a sickening _crunch_ , the layer of ice over the lake cracked open as Lukas’s body connected with it, and the blond boy went plunging into the watery depths.

 

It had all happened in a matter of seconds.

 

 _No._ Philip didn’t know if he was screaming the word or if he was utterly silent. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, but he knew he had to get Lukas out of the icy water before it was too late. He raced onto the icy surface of the lake, slipping several times and then crawling towards the hole in the ice. It was eerily peaceful on the outside, the only sign of the past few seconds being the jagged crack in the serene ice layer and the dark red blood staining the icy white surface. It was too much blood.

 

He had been too high in the air. The water was too cold.

 

Philip plunged his hands into the hole in the ice as he reached it, gasping at the shock of the freezing water and grasping desperately for any part of Lukas. But only water slipped through his frantic hands, as if the other boy had already sunk to the frigid depths of the lake, just as Philip had, years ago, in a different continent and a different lake.

 

 _No, no, no,_ Philip thought–it was not the same as at Ilvermorny, because Lukas had Philip here to save him. And Philip’s thoughts were then clear, and he knew what he had to do.

 

“ _Reducto,”_ Philip shouted, pointing his wand at the ice before him. “ _Reducto, reducto!”_ The ice began to split apart with loud cracks, widening the hole Lukas had fallen through. Then, before he could reconsider, Philip tore off his winter robe and dove into the water.

 

He immediately spotted Lukas’s lifeless form sinking to the depths far below, his Slytherin scarf floating around him like a sinister green sea serpent. Philip tried to propel himself towards him, but he couldn’t swim and the water was so, so cold. He kicked desperately, but the cold was overwhelming, and he couldn’t breathe, and he could only watch helplessly as Lukas sank further down. Philip watched with dimming vision as Lukas’s twisting Slytherin scarf transformed into a real serpent, growing in size and wrapping around him like a snake would his prey, and in the back of his mind he realized he was losing his wits and was about to die.

 

Philip could almost hear the cruel laughter of teenagers above watching them both drown, before everything went black.


End file.
